#corporatedoublespeak

If Nike was doing things right then 18 months under EH should have come out with next generation of new designs and new strategy as to how to attack and new story line. Cricket~?

Instead from EH all we hear same old recycled corporate restructure narrative, at this time frankly it is getting old.

I was at UA when sh-t was going down and they played the same movie so I have seen it before. Promises and promises until the CEO cannot lie no more and next CEO comes in until he cannot BS no more on and on until the company is done.

@cx+1kr2mtsk2 said it well.

Wonder why all the SVP-VP-Directors all love to use the phrase PUSH THE BOUNDARIES. What do you keep telling the lower employees to push for??

Anyone else read the corporate jargon email from Mr. Tractor today? The ELT wants us to build on three enterprise skills….which will lead to us being rewarded with what exactly? No one can be promoted anymore because of our terrible new HR model. What is the incentive to improve exactly? Don’t say VCIP either, that is turning into a total joke and has become essentially whatever the leaders want to pay. If we can’t be rewarded, what is the point of continuous improvement? That only works with companies that actually reward performance. This company is doomed until we have a real leader in HR and someone willing to stand up to the CEO and CFO.

BNY Pershing’s CIO came and went faster than a transformation buzzword. The British hipster swagger, the artisan‑arrogance, the 'Untuckit' shirt and white tennis shoes style and the “I’ll fix and co-locate everything in six weeks” energy — all gone. And in classic BNY fashion, the update is delivered with that beloved euphemism: “He is no longer with us.” Translation: blink and you missed him.

"...we don't have large scale layoffs planned." - Gunjan Kedia, 4/22/2026

Just "small scale" layoffs, huh?

Always subtext, always a spin, may they all rot.

I keep seeing some certain white dudes who never rose above Sr. Director at Nike (or anywhere!) promote themselves on LinkedIn as having been a Vice-President. Nothing says executive presence like a title from the imagination department. Anyone else see this out there??? WTF???

Only a genius could come up with the perfect business model. Create fake jobs to review fake work, challenge fake wording, produce fake governance, and then report fake progress on risks everyone already understood. Then call it “enhanced oversight”.

But the good news is: several fake issues are being actively monitored and reported in several fake risk committees.

So that’s nice.

WFH already proved it works. We did it for years. Output didn’t drop, and in most cases it actually improved. Turns out it’s the person doing the work that matters, not the chair they’re sitting in.

The irony is we sell global connectivity, yet don’t trust our own employees to work remotely on the very networks we provide. It’s a “do as I say, not as I do” situation, and everyone sees it.

If the goal were cost and efficiency, the answer is obvious… let people work from home. Less real estate, no commute drain, same or better output.

Instead, we’re spending more to force people into buildings to do the same work… on a screen.

So what’s the real objective here?

Put it down in your calendar for April 29th, 2031. Remember to check (in 2031) if IBM did, indeed, hire 750 people in Chicago for "quantum" something.

http://techrights.org/n/2026/05/02/Thousands_of_Layoffs_at_IBM_So_IBM_Pays_Mainstream_Media_to_Cla.shtml

reminds me Scully saying "can we be serious now?"

guys talks for 15 Minutes , call for experts .... TS... Alfonso .....

what a joke

any takers?

Now it’s the same thing… just with “AI” copy-pasted on every slide.
Principal Architects running the show, somehow always in the room, rarely in the outcome.
They don’t build.
They don’t run.
But they definitely “align.”
Every problem gets a framework.
Every framework gets a deck.
Every deck gets approved.
Nothing actually gets better.
“Agentic systems,” “AI platforms,” “north star”, all discussed at length, all safely far from production.
Decisions sound big.
Ownership stays small.
Meanwhile, teams that ship are rewriting the plan in real time just to get something out the door.
At this point, the architecture isn’t enabling delivery, it’s something delivery has to survive.
But sure… one more review, one more workshop, one more “AI strategy” session.
That’ll fix it.

All I have to say is - thank you for the free hour on this beautiful spring day. What a joke and useless line up of BS from KO and clowns.

Workers who fall for ‘corporate bullsh-t’ may be worse at their jobs, study finds

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2026/mar/23/corporate-speak-study

It's going to be such or similar phase to justify leaving many people without their livelihoods at the time when the job market is at its worst and prices are skyrocketing. What a cr-ppy way to treat loyal employees who've left many, many years at this place.

"New study finds that employees impressed by corporate speak may be least equipped to make effective decisions"

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2026/mar/23/corporate-speak-study

Think this applies to Cengage?

The Almighty JD Power has blessed the firm today with the top spot. Jonesnet spouts confetti when you open it. Penny raves in an 8+ minute video. But my favorite part of the day was an email from KJ - our great ELT leader.

“To help us amplify and extend the reach of this important milestone, consider adding a comment that celebrates the moment and shows your pride on EJ’s LinkedIn, Facebook and/or Instagram posts. USE WARM, POSITIVE LANGUAGE THAT HIGHLIGHTS OUR COLLEAGUES, CULTURE, AND COMMUNITY IMPACT.”

Got that, Team?

2.5 to 3 hours commuting daily, gas through the roof, plus all the other office expenses. I feel like an id--t for doing this. If RTO actually made sense, maybe I'd feel less bitter. But it's pointless. Counter-productive even. All the corporate spin has been hollow. Showing up feels like getting played.

It’s hard not to admire the confidence of DXC people who clearly don’t understand technology but are absolutely certain that adding an X to a name makes it cutting edge. Nothing screams utterly clueless than believing slapping an X on a decades-old ideas somehow makes them sellable.

The ironic part is DXC keeps selling “X-as-a-Service” like it’s the future, while every platform they hype shrinks their business. Software doesn’t need armies of consultants. It replaces them. Meanwhile, DXC leadership is too busy slapping Xs on sh‑t-tier legacy services to realize they’re selling their own business to extinction.

Check out this latest news!.

https://www.travelpress.com/sabre-unveils-once-in-a-generation-company-rebuild-ai-first-platform-at-itb-berlin/

Is this a joke?

Look at some of the lines in the article

"Over the last several years, under a refreshed executive leadership team, Sabre has executed a full modernization of its technology stack, moving to the cloud, rebuilding core systems, and unifying once fragmented capabilities under the new Sabre Mosaic™ platform"

"Sabre completed this rebuild while simultaneously strengthening its financial foundation. Disciplined debt management, portfolio actions, and operating rigor enabled the company to modernize without carrying forward legacy constraints.

A focused strategy has enabled Sabre to materially increase its engineering capacity over the past year, accelerating innovation cycles and time-to-market"

This is pure deception and no one is telling the truth!!!!!

Management loves to brag about perks and post about balance, but ignore a late night message and suddenly you are the example in a meeting. The whole wellness message rings hollow when the expectations never switch off. You can see who gets protected and who does not, and it is not subtle. I would take blunt and direct over this polished version of pressure any day.

This is the "woman" who went MIA when her workforce was being gutted with 15,000 layoffs. Now she is holding up post it notes suggesting that employees should love their employer to make the company successful.

Are other employees so delusional they buy into this nonsense? Is she that far removed from reality? Is she still smoking the same stuff that made her think employees said they wanted to return to the office and stated that in their employee surveys?

Do these executives do this stuff and then meet to laugh at how gullible their employees are?

While the company is doing rounds of job eliminations a few of us were asked to give input into new recruitment ads. Absolute madness.

Something has to be said about this, everywhere you look it’s the same hollow message plastered everywhere. What’s next? They paint the ceilings orange?

in the traditional sense. The recent reductions are the result of a top-to-bottom organizational efficiency change. Every role, dependent and interdependent, has been evaluated for overlap, utilization of skill, and so on. This is not done. Once the final, improved, organizational model is done Srini will announce the 'transformation is complete'. Or some variation of that. For now, I am staying focused on my role. Doing my best to make sure I am a useful, contributing team member.

At Dow, we believe in putting people first and we’re passionate about delivering integrity, respect and safety to our customers, our employees and the planet.

Our people are at the heart of our solutions. They reflect the communities we live in and the world where we do business. Their diversity is our strength. We’re a community of relentless problem solvers that offers the daily opportunity to contribute with your perspective, transform industries and shape the future. Our purpose is simple - to deliver a sustainable future for the world through science and collaboration. If you’re looking for a challenge and meaningful role, you’re in the right place

Nothing I have seen in my time at Dow backs this statement up. With the scheduling roles being outsourced, who in their right mind would apply for this.

Ask not what your company can do for you — ask what you can do for your company?

After decades in the workforce, I thought I’d seen it all, until my time at Citi. I stayed way longer than I should’ve, missing the signs while the culture kept getting worse. The amount of spin and dishonesty up the chain was unreal. Looking back, leaving sooner would’ve saved a lot of damage.

Viva Las Vegas, Baby! #LeadingWithCompassion

This company cares about nothing accept blinding customers and robbing everyone. Evil to the core

Just trust what this leadership team tells you. Look past the quarter-zip smiles and forced enthusiasm and you will see a mountain of corporate spin. CP called out “incredible collaboration” this week...People at desks were not collaborating they were talking about how bad this place has become and looking to duck when you walk by. At least two leaders on this panel are openly planning their exits and they are not invested in fixing anything.... like you they want out. Watch the clown show from yesterday if you think that translates into work-life balance for you ask yourself why. Here’s what this really means for you. Every keystroke is tracked. Independent thinking is gone even when you are right, you follow “Crown math.” Your work feeds leadership payouts, not long term stability. This ends the same way it always does. Leadership cashes out and another company gets stripped down. You deal with the fallout masked as 'goals' and “Clear” and “transparent” are just words here like PURPLE was... how'd that go. Their face and actions tell a different story. I have only 1 question. Are you listening to what they say, or watching what they do? Just look at each face even they can no longer play the game. Shame

This is the only explanation. And to cover his tracks, let's throw out a good bonus to really make it look like we really did these numbers.

Oracle has no public sense. Oracle twitter posting says:

The NVIDIA-OpenAI deal has zero impact on our financial relationship with OpenAI. We remain highly confident in OpenAI’s ability to raise funds and meet its commitments.

CEO:
Good afternoon, Team. I want to thank the 11 of you who were able to join this mandatory town hall on such short notice. We scheduled this meeting early and during your daily commute time so you would be more productive and there would be less chance you might attend. Your presence today demonstrates your commitment to our shared vision of Transformative Workforce Realignment™.

Before we begin, I want to address the rumors circulating online.
No, we are not conducting layoffs.
We are simply rebalancing our talent ecosystem through a series of performance‑aligned, location‑optimized, AI‑enhanced workforce transitions.

Let me explain.

“1. We Are Not Downsizing — We Are Rightsizing”

Some of you may have noticed that your colleagues have… disappeared.
This is not a layoff.
This is Strategic Talent Migration™.

We are migrating talent out of the company and into the broader economy, where they can pursue exciting new opportunities that we have thoughtfully curated by eliminating their roles.
This is what leadership looks like.

“2. Your Performance Rating Is Not About You”
You may have recently received a performance rating that surprised you.
Perhaps you were rated “Exceeds Expectations” for 14 consecutive years and suddenly received “Needs Immediate Intervention.”
Let me be clear:
This is not a reflection of your performance.
This is a reflection of our organizational tax strategy.

We are committed to avoiding WARN Act triggers, and your rating plays a critical role in that mission.

Remember:
When you grow, we grow.
When you go, our SUI tax rate stays low.

“3. Return‑to‑Office Is About Culture, Not Attrition”
Some have asked why we require you to return to the office even though:

• Your office was closed
• Your team is in three different time zones
• Your desk has been replaced by a potted plant
• Your badge no longer opens the door

Let me assure you:
RTO is not about forcing resignations.
It is about rebuilding community — specifically, the community of people who still work here after RTO.

“4. Global Talent Optimization”
We are proud to announce that we are expanding our global footprint in Pune and Manchester. This is not because labor costs are lower.
It is because we believe in unlocking global synergies.
And if those synergies happen to cost 80% less per headcount, that is simply a happy coincidence.

“5. AI Is Not Replacing You — It Is Empowering You”
Some of you have expressed concern that AI is taking over your job.
This is a misunderstanding.
AI is not replacing you.
AI is freeing you — from your responsibilities, your role, and your employment.
We are committed to ensuring a smooth transition as you train the AI that will empower your future successor.

6. “Why You Didn’t Receive a WARN Notice”
I want to address this directly.

You did not receive a WARN notice because:
• We did not lay off enough people at once
• We spread reductions across multiple 30‑day windows
• We reclassified separations as “performance‑aligned exits”
• We encouraged voluntary resignations
• We relocated roles to places you cannot physically reach
• We believe in agile workforce management

WARN notices are for companies that lack creativity.
We are innovators.

***Q&A Session***

***Employee:***
Why are so many people being rated poorly all of a sudden?
***CEO:***
Great question.
We are committed to data‑driven performance excellence, and the data shows that our reduction targets require a 17% increase in “Needs Improvement” ratings.

***Employee:***
Why are U.S. jobs being moved offshore?
***CEO:***
We are not moving jobs offshore.
We are expanding global opportunities while sunsetting domestic redundancies.

***Employee:***
Are more layoffs coming?
***CEO:***
We do not comment on future workforce transitions.
But we can confirm that ***your role is critical to our success*** — until it isn’t.

***Moderator:***  
Now that's all the time we have. Sorry (not) we can't take any more questions.

Closing Remarks

CEO:
Thank you for your continued dedication to our mission of Sustainable Workforce Optimization™.
We value each and every one of you — especially those who remain after this meeting.
Remember:
We are one team.
One vision.
One continuous reduction cycle.

Have a great rest of your day, and now please check Workday for updates to your performance rating.

What the he-l are these jokers on about? What even is "the culture"?

"Bringing back a notion of taking that extra step."
"You need to have a way of thinking about health care that is different from other products."

"It's a different culture than just a commercial culture."
"To be more explicit about that, we were calling that out because we were way too tense and needed to define who we wanted to be."

Could you have used more words to say nothing, sir?

Please try to remember this while you are listening to a corporate goon (GoGo) explain why VCIP isn’t great but the best is coming!
“During the pendency of any appeal in the Propel Fuels case, Phillips 66 is accruing additional interest liability at a rate of approximately $228,272 per day.” More than the median employee salary …… per day. Ignorance is bliss.

Credit to Peter Girnus— decoding the Amazon layoff thread that could be easily applied to the burning stagecoach

To whom it may concern,

Senior Vice President of two trillion dollars company reaching out to you again.

Some of you had trouble understanding Beth's email.

Allow me to translate.

"Strengthening our organization" means firing people.

Organizations get stronger when they're lighter.

Like a boxer cutting weight.

The weight is you.

"Reducing layers" means eliminating management.

Layers are what cakes have.

And onions.

You are neither.

You are overhead.

"Increasing ownership" means fewer people doing more work.

Ownership sounds empowering.

It means you now own three people's jobs.

At one person's salary.

Congratulations on your ownership.

"Removing bureaucracy" means cutting support staff.

Bureaucracy is a word for people who help.

HR. Finance. Admin.

They're not bureaucracy when you need them.

They're bureaucracy when we need savings.

"Organizational changes" means layoffs.

"Organizational" makes it sound like furniture.

We're just rearranging.

The furniture is your desk.

It's leaving.

"Impacted" means fired.

Impacted sounds like a meteor.

Or a wisdom tooth.

Something natural.

Something unavoidable.

This was a spreadsheet.

"Roles" means people.

We don't eliminate people.

We eliminate roles.

The people just happen to be inside them.

"Teammates" means employees.

We call you teammates so it feels like sports.

Sports have teams.

Teams have cuts.

You didn't make the roster.

"Support" means 90 days.

90 days to find a new role.

Inside the company that just eliminated yours.

It's like being dumped and asked to keep dating.

"Future endeavors" means unemployment.

Endeavors sounds adventurous.

Like you're exploring.

You're exploring LinkedIn.

"Strategic areas" means AI.

Everything strategic is AI now.

You are not AI.

You are overhead.

We covered this.

"Not the beginning of a new rhythm" means we'll do this again.

But not on a schedule.

Surprise layoffs.

Like a pop quiz.

But instead of failing a test, you lose healthcare.

"Grateful" means nothing.

"Thank you" means goodbye.

"Beth" means the spreadsheet signed an email.

I hope this helps.

If you need further translation, I'm available.

Until I'm impacted.

Anyway, have a great Wednesday everyone.

During the all hands meeting we had the other day the VPs were saying they were looking to change current employee roles to, essentially, lower level roles. They’re basically giving out demotions but saying they’re good opportunities for growth.

They’ve already started doing this by forcing engineers and coordinators into drafting OSP designs.

Sadly not many people are complaining or raising concerns, and an oddly large amount of people are “excited” to provide “value” to the company.

Hi guys, JW here. It is now near the end of the transformation notifications and I just want to say that I am truly proud of everyone for showing up to work.

To those we severed and to those we are forcing to leave (in one form or another), I’d like to say thank you for maximizing shareholder value. Thank you for the long hours and free labour.

To those who chose to stay and were notified of fulfilling positions, the company isn’t done draining the life force out of you. We will eventually and in due time also cut you out. Extend our sincerest thanks to your family for uprooting their lives to move and support your ending career.

And just a reminder to please refrain from disclosing or sharing any confidential or proprietary information outside of the company you love and trust.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

https://www.campaignlive.com/article/verizon-fiercely-committed-diversity-inclusion-across-spectrums-says-ceo/1684973

They should make a Nobel prize for acting