#toxicleadership

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Why cling to a company that doesn’t want you?

I’m genuinely curious. Why are you clinging to a company that no longer wants you?

I was an IC that took initiative and did impactful work that improved the performance of my entire team many times but my manager’s actions showed that they didn’t appreciate me or value me so I volunteered to be laid off and I was.

Actions speak louder than words and I think many of them look down on their underlings. So why are you clinging to these arrogant a**holes?


10 red flags of a toxic boss — and tips for working with one

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/other/10-red-flags-of-a-toxic-boss-and-tips-for-working-with-one/

Is Your Boss Really Toxic or Just Difficult?

Your boss may be toxic if their behavior is repeated, harmful, and makes it harder for you to do your job or feel safe at work. Not every frustrating manager is toxic, and recognizing the difference can help you respond more effectively. A difficult boss may be frustrating to work with or demanding, but they’re usually still fair and focused on work outcomes.

Following are some notable differences between a difficult and a toxic boss.

A difficult boss may…

Give blunt or unclear feedback
Set high expectations
Be disorganized or hard to read
Struggle with communication
Have occasional bad days
Push for results
A toxic boss may…

Belittle, insult, or intimidate employees
Create unrealistic expectations and punish people for missing them
Create confusion, fear, or constant stress
Withhold information, shift blame, or manipulate situations
Show a repeated pattern of harmful behavior
Take credit, play favorites, retaliate, or ignore boundaries
In many cases, it comes down to how often the behavior happens and how much it affects you.

If the behavior is occasional or tied to poor communication, it may be manageable. If it’s ongoing, manipulative, targeted, or emotionally draining, you may be dealing with something more toxic. Many employees second-guess themselves in toxic environments, especially when behaviors are subtle or inconsistent.

10 Signs of a Toxic Boss

The clearest signs of a toxic boss usually appear as repeated patterns rather than isolated incidents. One bad meeting or tense conversation doesn’t always mean your boss is toxic, but ongoing behaviors that create stress, confusion, or unfairness are toxic boss traits worth paying attention to.

  1. They Blame Others Instead of Taking Accountability
    When something goes wrong, a toxic boss often looks for someone to blame instead of asking what happened or how to fix it. This can happen even when they gave unclear instructions, changed priorities, or failed to share important details.

For example, your boss might approve a project direction, then criticize you later when leadership pushes back. You might hear, “You should’ve known that wasn’t what I meant,” or “I don’t have time to hold your hand through this,” even though they never clarified expectations.

  1. They Take Credit for Your Work
    Some toxic bosses praise your ideas in private but present them as their own in meetings, reports, or conversations with senior leaders. Over time, this can make it harder for you to gain visibility, build credibility, or show the full impact of your work.

For example, you may develop a new process, solve a major client issue, or create a successful campaign, only to watch your boss say, “I came up with a new approach,” without mentioning your role.

  1. They Belittle or Intimidate Employees
    Public criticism, sarcasm, threats, and condescending comments are common signs of toxic leadership. These behaviors may be framed as “tough love” or “high standards,” but they often leave employees feeling embarrassed, anxious, or unsure of themselves.

For example, you might hear comments like, “I don’t know why this is so hard for you,” “Maybe this role is too much,” or “Everyone else seems to understand this.”

  1. They Change Expectations Without Warning
    Changing priorities is normal at work, but constantly moving the goalposts can make it feel impossible to succeed. A toxic boss may ask for one thing, shift direction without warning, and then fault you for not meeting the new expectation.

For example, your boss may ask for a quick draft by Friday, then criticize it for not being polished enough. Or, they may say a task is low-priority, then act frustrated when it’s not completed first.

  1. They Ignore Reasonable Boundaries
    A toxic boss may expect constant availability outside normal working hours, during time off, or when your workload is already full. Instead of respecting boundaries as part of sustainable work, they may treat them as a lack of commitment.

For example, they might send messages at night and follow up first thing in the morning with, “Did you see my note?” or say, “I know you’re on PTO, but this will only take a minute.”

  1. They Play Favorites
    Favoritism can show up through better assignments, more flexibility, more praise, or fewer consequences for certain employees. A toxic boss may create an inner circle while leaving others with less visibility, fewer opportunities, or harsher treatment.

For example, one employee may repeatedly miss deadlines without any clear accountability, while you’re criticized for minor issues. Or, your boss may consistently give stretch projects to the same people while telling others they “aren’t ready,” without explaining how to grow into those opportunities.

  1. They Retaliate When Employees Speak Up
    Toxic leadership can also show up after employees ask questions, raise concerns, or give honest feedback. Retaliation isn’t always obvious. It may look like colder communication, sudden criticism, fewer responsibilities, exclusion from meetings, or negative performance comments.

For example, if you ask for clearer priorities and your boss responds by saying you’re “not being a team player,” that’s a warning sign.

  1. They Micromanage Everything
    Micromanagement becomes toxic when your boss monitors every detail, second-guesses your work, or makes you feel like you can’t be trusted to do your job. Instead of offering guidance, they create bottlenecks and constant pressure.

For example, they may ask for updates multiple times a day, frequently rewrite your work without explanation or input, or require approval before you take even small next steps to complete a task.

  1. They Create Confusion and Unclear Priorities
    Toxic bosses often create unnecessary confusion that makes work harder than it needs to be. They may give vague instructions, contradict themselves, share incomplete information, or make everything feel urgent. As a result, you may spend more time interpreting expectations than doing the actual work.

For example, they may assign a project with little context, disappear when you ask questions, then criticize the final result. Or, they may say, “This needs to be done ASAP,” without explaining what should move down the priority list.

  1. They Consistently Make You Feel Undervalued
    A toxic boss may rarely acknowledge your contributions, dismiss your ideas, or focus only on what went wrong. Everyone needs constructive feedback, but constant criticism or lack of recognition can make you feel invisible, replaceable, or like nothing you do is enough.

For example, your boss might ignore strong results but immediately call out small mistakes. They may respond to a completed project with, “This is what I expected anyway,” or give new opportunities to others while offering you little guidance or recognition.

6 Tips for Dealing With a Toxic Boss Without Quitting
You can deal with a toxic boss without quitting by protecting your work, setting clearer boundaries, documenting harmful behavior, and seeking support before making any major career decision.

It’s not in your job description to “fix” your boss. In a toxic situation, the best thing you can do is reduce the impact their behavior has on your performance, confidence, and career overall.

  1. Clarify Expectations in Writing
    When a boss is inconsistent, vague, or quick to blame others, written expectations can help protect you. After meetings or verbal conversations, send a brief follow-up confirming priorities, deadlines, and next steps.

For example, you might write: “To confirm, I’ll prioritize the client report first and send a draft by Thursday. I’ll move the internal recap to next week unless priorities change.” Doing so creates a record and gives your boss a chance to correct misunderstandings before they become bigger problems.

  1. Document Problematic Behavior
    If your boss’s behavior is repeated or harmful, start keeping a private record. Include dates, what happened, who was present, and any related emails, messages, or project details. Focus on facts rather than emotions.

Instead of writing, “My boss was awful in the meeting,” note what was said and how it affected the work: “During the Monday team meeting, my manager said, ‘I don’t know why this is so hard for you,’ in front of five coworkers after I asked for clarification on the deadline.”

Documentation can help you spot patterns, prepare for HR conversations, or make a stronger case if the situation escalates.

  1. Set Boundaries Where You Can
    A toxic boss may push boundaries around time, workload, communication, or availability. You may not be able to control how they act, but you can be clear about what’s realistic and what trade-offs their requests require.

In practice, setting boundaries often means naming your capacity, asking for priorities, and putting decisions back in business terms.

For example, if your boss assigns a new urgent task when your workload is already full, you might say: “I can take this on, but I’ll need to move the reporting deck to tomorrow. Which should I prioritize?”

  1. Stay Professional and Avoid Matching Their Behavior
    When your boss is rude, dismissive, or manipulative, it’s tempting to respond emotionally. But staying professional protects your credibility, especially if other leaders, HR, or coworkers become involved later.

Keep your communication calm, specific, and work-focused. Avoid venting in company channels, sending angry emails, or making accusations you can’t support. You can be firm without escalating the situation.

  1. Build Support Outside Your Boss
    A toxic boss can make you feel isolated, so it’s important to connect with trusted people who can offer perspective without escalating the situation unnecessarily.

Build support: Maintain relationships with trusted coworkers, career mentors, former managers, or other leaders who can help you reality-check the situation. If colleagues are experiencing similar behavior, keep those conversations professional, focused on facts, and away from gossip.

Use employee resources: If your company offers an employee assistance program (EAP), consider using it for confidential counseling or support. If the behavior involves harassment, discrimination, retaliation, or illegal activity, you may also want to seek legal guidance to better understand your rights.

Contact HR: When you’re ready to take a formal step, bring the issue to HR. Before requesting a meeting, make sure your documentation includes specific examples, dates, the impact on your work, and any steps you’ve already taken to address the issue.

  1. Protect Your Career
    Even if you’re not ready to quit, start preparing for the possibility. Update your resume, save examples of your work where appropriate, refresh your LinkedIn profile, and quietly explore roles that may be a better fit.

Having options can make the situation feel less overwhelming. You may decide to stay, transfer teams, or look for a new job, but you’ll be making that choice from a stronger position.

When Is It Time to Quit Because of a Toxic Boss?

It may be time to quit because of a toxic boss when the situation is damaging your health, limiting your career growth, or continuing despite your efforts to address it.

You don’t always need to leave a challenging work situation, but some environments become too harmful or unstable to manage long-term.

You should consider walking away from a toxic workplace when:

Your health is being affected: If work stress is causing anxiety, sleep issues, physical symptoms, or constant dread, the job may be costing more than it’s worth.
The behavior is getting worse: If your boss becomes more aggressive, critical, unpredictable, or retaliatory after you speak up, staying may put your job or reputation at greater risk.

You’ve tried reasonable solutions: If setting boundaries, clarifying expectations, documenting issues, or talking to HR hasn’t helped, the situation may not improve.
The toxicity goes beyond your boss: If toxic behavior is tolerated or encouraged by other leadership, leaving may be your best long-term option.

5 Ways to Avoid a Toxic Boss in Your Next Job

You can avoid a toxic boss by watching for warning signs throughout the job search, from the job ad to the final offer.

While you can’t predict every workplace issue before accepting a role, you can look closely at how the company communicates, how the hiring manager describes their leadership style, and whether the role’s expectations seem clear, fair, and sustainable.

Scrutinize job ads. Watch for vague responsibilities or phrases like “high-pressure,” “thick-skinned,” or “fast-paced environment,” which may point to stress, disorganization, or unrealistic expectations.

Watch for red flags in recruitment communication. Long delays, rushed timelines, unclear instructions, or pressure to accept quickly can signal a poorly managed workplace.

Assess the interview experience. Pay attention to how your potential boss communicates. A good boss should be able to describe expectations clearly, answer questions directly, and show active listening. If they seem dismissive, negative, evasive, or focused only on what they expect from you, that may be a warning sign.
Evaluate the job offer. Review the offer for unclear terms, unusually restrictive conditions, limited support for work-life balance, or signs that the company is trying to rush your decision.

Talk to your network. Before accepting, ask current or former employees what the company culture and management style are really like, especially if they’ve worked with your potential boss.


State Farm Leadership

State Farm leadership is cookie cutter corporate garbage. When the person above and in front of them stops they put their head up their azz. Leadership no longer has the heuvos to defend and support their subordinates. It is each man for themselves and their hypocrisy runs deep when they preach teamwork.

It is so sad to say they are so brainwashed to believe in the hypocrisy. Leadership at State Farm is a term that is abused so bad it has created dysfunction. The worker understands this and can no longer believe in the ethics of the company mission and vision statements. Failure is inevitable with leaders of poor virtue.


I've Never Considered Myself Naive, But...

The executives at this company are almost cartoonishly evil. I've never seen more people who are deluded into believing they are kind. Yes, I know and I've heard that leadership everywhere are snakes (that's how they end up where they are), but to see it up close is hard to digest.


Lots of shady actions posted recently - why are you putting up with it

Haven't been here for awhile and looking at the postings I am shocked that people are putting up with this mess.

Managers/Directors openly disrespecting staff, threatening them in front of witnesses, making up jobs/roles but not compensating them appropriately, scolding them for not asking about pronouns to members who likely are clueless or will loose their mind at the question, insane micromanagement. and people are just putting up with it.

My Goodness!!! Use your power and the power of the policies posted in Workday for this and start calling it out. Being afraid of being Rifed is turning people into doormats. Stand up for yourself!!!


Corporate culture ruined by rigid, military-style command and control

There has been a noticeable and disappointing shift in leadership culture within the Quality department, moving away from collaborative corporate values and toward an authoritarian, military-style command-and-control structure. A prime example is the expectation for staff to use artificial, forced scripts and mandated pleasantries during casual daily interactions, mimicking a rigid military hierarchy. This level of forced conformity completely invalidates the deep institutional knowledge and dedication of long-tenured employees who have spent years building this company.

Furthermore, the communication style from leadership in this department is deeply unprofessional and counterproductive to a healthy business environment. Meetings are frequently disrupted by leaders bringing aggressive military briefing tactics into the corporate world, cutting people off mid-sentence if they do not receive an immediate, hyper-concise answer. This dismissive behavior shuts down open communication, erodes psychological safety, and shows a blatant lack of respect for the team's expertise. Employees joined a corporation, not the armed forces, and they should not be subjected to this type of combat-zone impatience.

What is most concerning is that upper management has completely failed to address or call out this unacceptable behavior. By allowing these toxic, drill-sergeant leadership tactics to go unchecked within the Quality department, executive leadership is actively damaging employee morale and driving away top talent. This company used to thrive on mutual respect and professional dialogue, but the current lack of oversight and acceptance of rigid, disrespectful behavior makes the workplace culture unsustainable.


When did Dell become so toxic?

My neighbors ask me all the time when did Dell become so toxic? I tell them it's been this way for many years. But lately, it's accelerated because our inept, incompetent, inexperienced, nepotistic leadership clowns started thinking it could replace employees with AI chatbots. All driven by greed. Dell leadership or HR absolutely DOES NOT CARE about employees.


Whatever you do, don't ever voice your opinion

Especially if you're right or your idea is actually good. You'll either get punished for it or watch someone else take credit. Learned that the hard way. Just let leadership, your manager and above, wallow in their own bad decisions. None of it matters to you anyway.


Spreading positivity for the long weekend

To all the outstanding employees and those exploited by this company have a wonderful long weekend.

To all the executives, and their concentration camp commandants, the hr hall monitors,

You don't deserve it. When your kids cause a scene somewhere and you get exposed for your incompetence as human beings, in that moment you should realize that your work persona is fake and your perceived competence only exists inside the walls of us bank. Nobody respects you inside the company either, but they are paid to pretend.


A warning for anyone young and ambitious

If you are smart and you want to build a career, leave T. The managers don't know what they are doing, you aren't allowed to take any initiative, and the only path to success is making your boss and their boss happy regardless of whether you actually do good work. If that's your jam, so be it. But if not, just do yourself a favor and leave.


HR are you that d-mb?

How does a risk and compliance manager who has no background in risk or compliance get hired in the 1st place?

Secondly, that very manager had to move from the BL she was hired to support due to complaints and has zero respect from anyone she interacts with because she lacks the very respect necessary to build relationships.

SHE HAS DRIVEN OUT 6 EMPLOYEES IN 2 YEARS!!!! YOU KEEP GIVING HER VICTIMS! How does she continue to be approved to harm another employee!?! When is enough enough? She is a liability to the company you are here to protect!


Out of here

AW in his TH in Asia Pacific is so full of himself. It just goes to show how out of touch the leaders are. Employees, you are nothing but a commodity, like a cow or horse for sale. Imagine telling the entire population who were present that your wife accompanied you on the trip (which is fine) and was out sightseeing and shopping, while you messaged to the livestock why they are being sold. And sarcastically replying to one employee who asked about what's left with his job scope. For those impacted, stay positive, you might be better off in the new company. Chevron has zero interest in Asia Pacific.


MD Live Challenges with leaders

Is anyone else struggling with the new leaders in MD Live? It’s toxic and micro management and like I’m not allowed to have an opinion. I’m ready to leave but wish I would be packaged out and offered severance. I tried to bring it up as an option and was dismissed which seems like the current mentality in this area. Anyone else? Or anyone with suggestions? Does anyone know if there will be layoffs?


Am I being set up for a PIP?

I raised some concerns about my work environment and a toxic leader who isn't even my direct manager. Now I'm noticing that my tasks are being scrutinized more closely, and I'm worried that they might be building a case to put me on a performance improvement plan. How can I tell if that's what's happening?


Should HR get involved?

Has anyone went to HR over mistreatment from a superior and had a good outcome? This individual seems to take great pleasure in belittling and putting me down. They only do this to me and when there are no witnesses. This is not a daily occurrence, but has occurred more than it should. On the days that they are not being completely disrespectful they are cordial but still treat me differently than others. This seems to be the norm here with people in "power positions", but we should not have to tolerate it. With everyone being asked to do more with less and morale at an all time low, this is an unnecessary stress added to an already stressful work environment.


Why are you still at Blackbaud?

You only have yourself to blame. Are you addicted to misery? The job market is horrendous. You are about to join this job market involuntarily. It‘s time to start leaving, and finding your next role.

Do NOT let these parasites keep squeezing you further. It beggars belief why people are staying at Blackbaud. Lunatics are running the mental asylum, tanking any chance of future sustainability or an acquisition, and you think things will get better…eventually?

Good luck.


I won't be too upset if I'm laid off

How much worse can it get than the situation I'm in now? Constantly worrying about cuts, dealing with an abusive manager who thinks fear is a legitimate managing tool, and being significantly underpaid compared to market. If I'm laid off, I'll be jobless but my future will look more promising than the one I see if I stay here.


Quiet firing

I’ve watched this happen multiple times. A manager decides they don’t like someone, not because of performance, but because of something personal. Since putting them on a PIP creates paperwork and leaves a trail, they go another route instead. Suddenly every little thing gets micromanaged, every email, every task, every break. Negative comments start showing up in reviews, every decision gets questioned, and the pressure slowly keeps building month after month until the person either quits or completely burns out and goes on leave. Then the manager acts surprised like none of it was intentional. I’ve seen this happen twice in my department alone. It’s basically a quiet firing method designed to leave no trace.


Dell is what I like to call sh!tty pants

Looks good on the outside but at its core, just rotten. Very polished, good story. When you look under the hood it’s a vile, rotten place filled with rotten SVPs and executives who all have sh!t in their pants.

They need to be able to make great slides to hide their incompetency so they hire consultants. They’re greed, self centered people who would stab you in the back in a second without thinking about it. They’re incompetent, immature, a$$ kissing, vile human beings who are nothing but greedy.

Get out of Dell if you can because there is absolutely nothing behind that stock price and it’s going to drop like a rock.

The worst of the worst types of people are at Dell and it’s not going to get better.


A message for leadership.

The manner in which these layoffs were handled was atrocious and inhumane for both those affected and unaffected. The obvious lack of planning, the leak months in advance and the announcement right before the weekend are simply inexcusable and unkind. The buck stops with you.

The continued outsourcing of jobs to India from the very neighborhoods, county, city, state and country that supported you along the way and in which you freely operate today is simply no more than trading the livelihoods of your very own friends and neighbors for profit. Have you no shame or courage to do the right thing? Again, the buck stops with you.

Doubling down on Nike stock shortly before the layoffs occurred was truly in poor taste. Out of respect for those whose lives were going to be shortly upended, could one not have simply waited until after the layoffs to avoid the impropriety of having profited at the expense of those you once led? Does the character of a good leader allow one to take from the downtrodden and those who follow? Again, the buck stops with you.

But there is a catch. The buck stops with us as well. Your friends, neighbors and coworkers, past and present.

So when it comes time to measure your character and integrity as leaders? The buck stops with us. When we see you at the grocery store whispering while looking away in disgust, the buck stops with us. When we throw out our copy of Shoe Dog while mumbling “dou--e bag” under our breathes? The buck stops with us. When you experience imposter syndrome while pandering the same rhetoric off a teleprompter to the employees that make a fraction of what you do but actually do all of the work? Yes, you guessed it, the buck stops with us.

You can keep the company and the jobs but your legacies are no longer yours: they belong to those of us you continue to employ and abuse and the nearly 5000 lost over the last 3 years. We see you and always will, that’s your new legacy.

“Failed leadership characterized by a lack of character, competence, or care destroys organizational trust, often resulting in fear, high turnover, and toxic culture.” — AI Agent #212 - 2026


Why does P.P hate us so much?

This woman and ELT seem to be working non stop to find every way possible to make our jobs and lives harder on purpose for no reason other than greed and contempt for the very people that keep this ship afloat. Is there nobody at the top level that has the guts to stop this vicious woman before she destroys everything? Even the branches are not immune to her insane decision making. It's like she hates all of us and can't wait to sell us out.


Well I said I would never come back but did. Big mistake.

I retired from exxon making 220k at 55. I could not stand it anymore. I said I would never work for this dysfunctional s heet show again. Well they offered me a contractor position through an agency. My pay was only half at 120k per year. They told me I would not have to deal with all the BS forms, moc, procurement, and training cr-p. I got put under a young female supervisor and she immediately started lecturing me about performance and expectations. I was simply there to help with engineering designs and reviews. This supervisor knew nothing of engineering and only knew exxon bruacracy. I was asked to perform some saftey tasks and lab inspections. I told my overlord it was not part of my duties and I was to do engineering work. She told me I was being insubordinate and she would delegate my tasks. It was all downhill from there. Since I was familiar with gmocs I was instructed to initiate several because the new engineers did know how to complete them. The supervisor was getting very angry at me complaining that I was taking too long on tasks. I quit 3 months into my failed return to exxon. The supervisor was pi---d and told me that I would never work at exxon again and I was on the black list for hiring. I told her to stick the job up her ar-e and I never wanted to work at exxon in my life. The contract company was pi---d as well and told me I could not work for them again. I do not want to work anymore. My treatment was the worst by this individual. I wanted to punch the s heet out of her. The power went to her head and she treated me like a child. I knew it was a mistake but I was bored and thought I could do work that I liked. This is just my story and hope it helps others not make the same mistake. I might just volunteer some where to stay busy.


Toxic Work Culture

Does it ever end??? This is the worst company I’ve ever worked for! This company seems to hire toxic leadership on purpose. I have yet to meet anyone that is satisfied with the ill treatment we are met with from the leaders. The only time we get told we are doing well is right before leadership requires us to take on another meaningless project. We are over worked because those that perform well are only left to pick up the slack of the “favorites” while the favorites get paid more for doing less. I’m expected to do my managers job as well. I think I’d rather quit and take the chance of starving to save my self from this soul crushing place. I have the rudest B5 lead on team! He was a manager but was demoted due to his employee survey scores & when I tell my direct manager I am met with “ Trust me he doesn’t want to be a people leader y’all get on his nerves” if that’s the case why is he left in charge of us while your on maternity leave? It’s been he-l on Earth at this place.


The stress here has nothing to do with the actual work

If you know your stuff, you'll solve any technical problem. But you can't fix toxic. You can't fix dysfunction, disrespect, or incompetence. The people who actually do the work get undermined, questioned, and suffocated by a culture engineered from the top. I've never stressed over a task, sometimes I've even been proud of the outcome. But I dread coming in because of the people and the sick, bloated beast this company is.


The Toxic Reality of Big Red in Greater Boston

I’m finally done, and I need to put this out there for anyone still grinding in the Greater Boston market. The culture here has become a total train wreck, and it is absolutely tanking people’s mental health.

The upper management on the landline side is a disaster. There is a senior leader who refuses to actually lead; instead, this person acts like a glorified first-liner. They are out there in a company car—the only one at that level who even has one—driving around for the sole purpose of harassing and micromanaging everyone in the field. It’s not about the work anymore; it’s about power trips and surveillance.

The middle management working in that chain are an even bigger joke. They’ve leaned entirely into a toxic style that makes the day-to-day miserable. There is zero respect for the craft and even less for the people.

Literally everyone I work with is updating their resume and looking for a way out. Nobody wants to deal with this garbage anymore. If you’re looking at a req for this area, do yourself a favor and run the other way. No paycheck is worth the mental toll this place takes.

To those still in the trenches: keep your heads up and keep applying elsewhere. There’s life after Big Red.


advice

Windstream/Kinetic employee here looking for advice or feedback on all your former leaders coming over here. They are not making friends and ripping the company that we spent nearly a decade building apart. They have come in like a wrecking ball and it seems if you are not part of their inner circle then you don’t mean anything to them. They might be smart folks but their people skills are awful and the only opinions they care about are their buddies they brought over. Are you happy they are gone or do you miss them? Help me understand my future lol