Even AI is in on the joke Dell has become
original parody rap)
I’m drivin’ in at dawn through the valley of the shadow of Death,
Where the layoffs stalk the highways like they’re huntin’ for my breath.
Every mile feels cursed, every billboard’s a lie,
Talkin’ “culture,” talkin’ “family,” while they watch us bleed dry.
They say “We’re building greatness” while they gut us from inside,
And the only thing that’s growing is the fear we try to hide.
We’re ghosts in the hallways, survivors of the purge,
And the bosses call it “progress” while they watch the profits surge.
We’re living in Michael’s Paradise —
Where loyalty’s a vice.
They preach about their values,
But we’re the sacrifice.
I walk into the office and the silence hits like doom,
Half the desks abandoned like a corporate tomb.
They tell us “Do more with less,” like it’s some holy command,
But you can’t build a future when you’re losing every hand.
The managers are trembling, the directors look scared,
’Cause they know the next email means none of us are spared.
They call it “realignment,” they call it “strategic,”
But the truth is pretty simple — it’s heartless and anemic.
Still living in Michael’s Paradise —
Where the workers pay the price.
They say we’re all a family,
But they don’t treat us very nice.
Now the CEO’s on stage with that polished little grin,
Talkin’ “innovation,” talkin’ “vision,” while the walls are caving in.
He’s flyin’ private jets while we’re drowning in the grind,
And the only thing he’s cutting is the people left behind.
So here’s to the ones who keep the whole thing alive,
Who walk through Death’s valley just to barely survive.
We’re angry, we’re tired, and we’re done bein’ polite —
If they won’t care about the workers, we’ll bring our own damn light.
Still living in Michael’s Paradise —
But we’re done payin’ the price.
If they won’t stand beside us,
We’ll reclaim our sacrifice.