#poem

Issued with great promise
Ten years to acquire great wealth
All under water
Geoff Martha you loser

chucky pucky changed employee members
he removed the word team and made them all embers
removing 80000 of them in 6 short years
his salary doubled while former employees in tears

see its no longer about fairness and stability
to chucky pucky its stonk buybacks and gullibility
he goes on the cnbc claiming its "Efficiency and AI"
winking and laughing as displaced employees cry

Hes expanded corporate footprint in 3rd world lands
relying heavily on thick accents and deep brown hands
to chucky none of this matters
to him customer data security is in tatters

On the dark web customer data is a whole years salary
foreign nationals get unfettered access to entire account gallary
They can video tape customer accounts, data and deposit
Dumping them on the dark web for massive profit

Chucky pucky dont care his salary is quite rich
$20,000 per hour he can make any congress critter his b!tch
Chucky now makes more taking a number two
than any of you working a whole month in gross revenue

Chucky pucky got a special deal working from NY
His 2019 employment contract was loaded with pork
He doesnt need to comply with location strategy
But if you try do same he deems it incompatibly

hypocrite doesnt matter when you make 40M a year
Without f--king the employees his salary not high gear
Its all about labor triage who cares its unfair
Chukie gets your salary you just go elsewhere

The curtain falls on the capitalist game,
Where "Corporate America" is just a name.
To foreign markets, their loyalty is tied,
While domestic workers are cast aside.

On every call, the bankers boast and crow,
How many more Americans they’ve let go.
Efficiency is the only song they sing,
With twenty-six quarters of staff-slashing.

If you think you’ve built a career, you’ve guessed it wrong,
You won’t be staying in this role for long.
To Chuckie, your salary is a fleeting debt,
A "temporary arrangement" he’ll soon forget.

With overseas labor at a tenth of the price,
He’s ready to roll those corporate dice.
You’ll never win a race to the bottom on pay,
And that’s exactly how he wants it to stay.

Welcome to Charlie. Can you hear him?
Can you feel him?
You run a bank to punish us.
You run a bank to reward the few.
You dream to be a big star.
You love the machine.
You are the machine.

Today I was informed that a restructuring occurred
Your position was impacted or so I heard

To say I was surprised would be a lie
For I saw this coming in my mind's own eye

To be fired now would seem a sin
But I saw it coming. I'll take this on the chin

On day one I was told this will never last
Prepare for the worst, work hard and work fast.

I toiled and worked long hours for sure
Implementing specs, features and more

The days flew by as they do
We all go through this, we all knew

Do not feel sad for this is a new beginning
This is not the ninth, it's only the sixth inning

To the new college grads I have one request
Work hard and stay strong and be at your best

To all I have known throughout these good years.
I say to you now, be happy and of good cheer.

Ciao

Would You Even Notice

Would you even notice if I’m gone—
not the meeting invites or the empty chair,
but the quiet things
that used to just… work?

The problems handled before they surfaced,
the details no one had to chase down,
the steady hand you never questioned—
because it never gave you a reason to.

Would you realize, after a while,
that something feels just slightly off?
Not broken—
just not as sharp, not as clear,
not as… easy.

Or would it all blend in—
another name, another exit,
another line item quietly disappearing
into the background noise?

I wonder if you ever saw it—
how good I actually was.
Not loud about it,
not chasing credit,
just consistently… right.

And maybe that’s the part that lingers—
not whether I’m missed,
but whether you ever understood
what was there to lose.

Or if one day, in some small moment,
you pause—
and think, almost without meaning to:

things used to run a little smoother.

And leave it at that.

A trio led Cigna’s grand scheme,
To dissolve the American dream.
Eder, Koka, and Cordani’s new plan,
Sent tech jobs to HIH in a far-distant land,
While the locals ran out of steam

In the corner cubicle, shadows my throne,
Forgotten by bosses, left well alone.
Layoffs swept by like a stormy gale,
But I hunkered down, safe in my veil.
Years ticked away in quiet repose,
Dodging the axe that felled my foes.
Now retired, with pension plump and grand,
I toast to the shadows, my faithful old stand.

Yo, his palms are sweaty, thumbs weak, signal's heavy
There's "SOS" on his iPhone already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bars, but the bars won't drop, network's dead-y
CEO Dan Schulman, new boss in the saddle
Just axed 13,000 jobs, now the company's rattled
"Simplify, leaner, scrappier," that's the motto he spouts
But customers screamin', "Where's my data? Get out!"

He opens the app, but the outage hits the floor
Tries to call support, but the lines are no more
Engineers deployed, "We're fixin' it quick!"
But it's been hours, Dan, your AI savior's a trick
"AI-powered CX," yeah, that's the big hype
But when the network tanks, even chatbots can't type
Lost market share to T-Mobile, they're laughin' and dancin'
Verizon's churnin' customers faster than romancin'

Are you, are you
Counting down the days?
Decks full of “efficiency,”
Smiles carefully in place.

Strange how “quick sync” hits your screen
Right before the sweep,
Never gave us any numbers,
Just the ones they plan to keep.

Meet me where the org charts fade,
Between “align” and “stream,”
May the odds be ever in your favor
In this well-rehearsed routine.

(A Wells Fargo Christmas Carol)

’Twas the night before layoffs, and all through the bank,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a crank.
The severance packets were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Charlie soon would be there. The workers were nestled all snug in their dread, While visions of pink slips danced in their heads.
With managers clutching their KPIs tight, They’d just settled in for another grim night. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our desks to see what was the matter.
Away to the window we flew in a flash,
Tore open the blinds and prepared for the crash. The moon on the br---t of the new-fallen snow Gave a luster of doom to the carnage below,
When what to our terrified eyes did appear, But a miniature sleigh and eight trembling reindeer. With a cruel little driver so vicious and snide,
We knew in a moment it must be Saint Scharf. More rapid than eagles his bullies they came, And he screamed and he shouted and called them by name: “Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer, you slacker!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! You’re all on the stack tracker!
Hit those story points or you’re off the damn wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all! ”Rudolph stood frozen, his nose glowing red,
From pure te---r, not magic, the fear filled his head.
Santa cracked the whip with a sadistic delight,
“Move faster, you id--ts, or you’re gone by tonight!” The elves had tried “Wagile,” but it fell on its face, Scrum ceremonies turned to a bullying place.
No safety, no trust, just metrics and fear, So the toys never shipped and Christmas drew near. Santa bellowed, “Your job here is done!
You’re replaced by AI and some guys in the sun!
The reindeer team’s next if you don’t hit your quota,
Offshore to Bengaluru, Manila, Dakota! He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a roar,
And away they all flew, scared forevermore.
But we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to none, and to all a good night…

Tomorrow the axe falls.
Document everything.
Upskill tonight.
Run. My mission: fearless workplaces.
There is life after Wells Fargo—and it’s beautiful.
See you on the other side.

Karma troll, why are you sad?
Karma troll, oxy isn’t that bad.
The grudge you carry is a burden.
For that your wife and kids are certain.
Move on with your life and let it go.
You will be happier that’s for sho.

It’s that time again. I won’t go first. Mine lasted only a day last time. Then the censors cleared it.

1.  Hood-Slang Gripe

– “Bunny slippers walkin’ soft while the floor cracks. Ghosts in suits, jokers smilin’. Whole place busy lookin’ busy.”

2.  Puzzle Riddle

– “Three shadows in glass towers: one hides, one smiles, one delays. The silence says more than the meetings.”

3.  Scavenger Clues

– “Slippers in ashes. Ghost in the copy room. Joker by the café line. Put the pieces together.”

4.  Hood + Gallows Humor

– “Busywork ain’t hustle, it’s camouflage. Suits playin’ games while the ground gives way.”

5.  Dark Teaser

– “The slippers, the mask, the joker — none for comfort, joy, or laughs. Just uniforms for rot.”

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today to get through this thing called working at Dow.
Electric word, work
It means it means hard work and we work for a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you there's something else
Retirement
A world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun
Day or night
So when you call up that shrink at Dow
You know the one, "Dr. Everything'll-be-alright"
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby
'Cause in this life things are much harder than in retirement
In this life you're on your own

Stankey in the night exchanging glances
Wondering in the night
What were the chances we'd be sharing love
Before the night was through
Something in your eyes was so inviting
Something in your smile was so exciting
Something in my heart
Told me I must have you
Stankey in the night
Two lonely people we were Stankey in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away
A warm embracing dance away, and
Ever since that night we've been together
Lovers at first sight, in love forever
It turned out so right
For Stankey in the night
Love was just a glance away
A warm embracing dance away
Ever since that night we've been together
Lovers at first sight, in love forever
It turned out so right
For Stankey in the night

Almighty HP,

Thou who reigneth over toner and thermal ink,
Thou who bringeth forth print queues that actually work,
Hear our humble cry from the land of Xerox,
Where synergy hath failed and margins hath vanished.

We beseech thee, O Hewlett of Packard,
Stretch forth thy mighty acquisition arm,
And rescue us from the abyss of badge-engineered Kyoceras,
From the prophets of reinvention who speaketh only in buzzwords.

Deliver us from the quarterly earnings calls,
Where hope goeth to die and EBITDA is but a ghost.
Save us from the junk bond wilderness,
Where our stock price wandereth like a lost sheep.

Grant unto us thy divine roadmap,
With real strategy, not PowerPoint sorcery.
Let thy firmware be stable, thy drivers compatible,
And thy leadership possesseth a moral compass.

If it be thy will, absorb us into thy portfolio,
That we may once again know the joy of working printers,
The peace of meaningful synergy,
And the blessed silence of not having to explain OEMS again.

In toner we trust,
Amen.

Brought to you by a humble Xerox employee trying to use AI. Hello, is this thing on?