Thread regarding Alteryx layoffs

I’m glad that someone here finally broke the news of the upcoming January ‘26 layoff.

Indeed this is correct. Marketing is lean, in terms of numbers, but there is going to be a cleanup of some folks who have not self deported yet (due to cushy jobs working 5-10 hours a week and making $200+K).

It’s coming ….

'Wait a second. Why pursue a strategist role here amid our abysmal metrics? '

We lack genuine strategists across the deck; instead, we're saddled with pretenders LARPing as experts, dooming us to endless failures. This is the one arena where qualifications are laughably optional—no credentials required. Craving a strategy role with zero mentorship or real experience? Step right up. Who gives a damn if your résumé peaks at managing brunch events? Pivoting to SaaS mastery is evidently the 'natural' leap.

Sit back and relish their epic flop redux—their scapegoat supply is drying up faster than their market share.

' Marketing becoming more effective as a unit.'

Under new CMO—the best, they say—their AI-hype disasters are accelerating those SAD January layoffs like a Cybertruck flop, turning the "AI Data Clearinghouse" into a PINK SLIP factory, proving the $4.4B buyout was just delaying the BIGGEST COLLAPSE—pathetic! 🚀💥

January 2026 Layoffs. Mark your calendars. (Again.)

#CloseTheDoors 💅

'So, here's to things settling down more and Marketing becoming more effective as a unit.'

LOL

Wait a second. Why pursue a strategist role here amid our abysmal metrics? It'd brand failure on your resume, dooming future interviews. I'd avoid any position judged by numbers down the line.

'So, here's to things settling down more and Marketing becoming more effective as a unit.'

!Remind me by December

@18z3 Listen, in the rough-and-tumble world of business, cheatin' on expertise spells doom. Hirin' "strategists" without proper schoolin' and real grit? Straight-up failure. They wing it, spark messes, ki-l trust, and create chaos. True strategy demands depth, not dabblin'—or it'll fall apart like a washed-out Colorado trail.

It's unfair to degreed marketers saddled with loans who must endure unqualified control freaks dominating marketing, web and digital

@18z3 'We're still pretty light on marketing strategy at the moment'

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 We've never employed genuine strategists—and we still don't. The wrong individual seized control and is now throwing a childish tantrum. Demand Gen people know strategy. Give them a try. Not someone who cries during meetings.

We're still pretty light on marketing strategy at the moment, but much of this is because so much of marketing leadership is so new to the company. We'll see how things pan out. The jury on new Marketing leadership is completely up in the air right now. We'll know more by the end of the year.

All that said, pretty much all of the big egos are OUT and GONE from Marketing. There are a few "leaders" who remain, but roles are better defined and they aren't winging it and flailing around as badly as they used to.

So, here's to things settling down more and Marketing becoming more effective as a unit.

@183w

'Bring in someone with proven results—not someone who planned brunch events and was promoted into strategy without relevant experience.'

💡💡💡

I'm lost. What strategists? We have Marketing strategists? What

@1 Bring in someone with proven results—not someone who planned brunch events and was promoted into strategy without relevant experience. Our numbers are nothing-burgers.

We're still dealing with remnants of past leadership—people in roles they’re unqualified for.

Complete toilet flush is needed. Don't blame the sales department for low numbers when Marketing is hijacked by sociopaths.

This is an epic thread !!

@1747 Yes. They just pretend to be liberal.

'Unless you are of VP status and above, every single role (In Workday) is listed as non-essential. Yes, this includes directors and senior directors.'

Confirmed. Going back to doing bare minimum.

Okay.

Who is getting humbled next?

It's humbling to know that most people are considered non essential. Thanks AYX and Workday.

Ph0cc your titles.

'What is a customer advocacy job role like? Is it essential? Have not seen it at any other place.'

Unless you are of VP status and above, every single role (In Workday) is listed as non-essential. Yes, this includes directors and senior directors.

Browse around Workday. See how little of importance your title and department are.

'Yep, nobody is missing LG or the customer advocacy empire since it got disbanded'

What is a customer advocacy job role like? Is it essential? Have not seen it at any other place.

Yep, nobody is missing LG or the customer advocacy empire since it got disbanded. Another useless function provided by our previous CMO.

The more time that goes by, the more I just shake my head at the blithering idiocy that was our previous “Maveryx-era” marketing leadership and regime.

Getting rid of three POCs made room for a woman who doesn’t even want to be here—the same one who has been playing CD, JE, CS, and JM.

Get M4GA people out.

69th.

'I know who yer talking about. She's looking to leave the company, but can't find another job.'

How karmic.

'She wanted his salary and a higher job title, but he retaliated by showing others his pay stub, which revealed he was actually earning less than her.'

...and by doing that she put target on herself. What the he-l is wrong with some people.

'She wanted his salary and a higher job title, but he retaliated by showing others his pay stub, which revealed he was actually earning less than her.'

😂

I know who yer talking about. She's looking to leave the company, but can't find another job.

I’ve already seen a situation where a woman tried to undermine a colleague, only for it to backfire spectacularly.

She wanted his salary and a higher job title, but he retaliated by showing others his pay stub, which revealed he was actually earning less than her. Cue the Pikachu face. So much for leveling the playing field. Blah blah blah.

I'm the OP.

LG was the inspiration for my post in the first place. Not a surprise he's gone. He's off to become a prima donna wannabe at his next company.

LG leaving is a good thing.

Which CD. One is in leadership and the other is Web project/Asana specialist.

When is CD leaving?

Not quite there yet.

'OK, but who are some examples of this?!?!?

• Sydney Sweeney
• Elly Clutch
• Condoleezza Rice
• Princess Lalla Salma

Attractive? Symmetry, confidence, charm.

OK, but who are some examples of this?!?!?

Attraction? It's a mess.

• Attractive? Symmetry, confidence, charm.

• Not? Not fitting beauty norms, lacking social skills.

• Examples? Celebs vs. your awkward cousin. But hey, beauty's subjective.

So, what factors determine what makes, and who, is attractive (or not)?

Any examples of both categories?

'Waiting for these details …….

• Step 1. Be attractive
• Step 2. See step 1.

Stay tuned for details at 11.

Waiting for these details …….

No question that’s been quite discernible in the past. Will it continue to hold true?

Breaking news:

Attractive women are reportedly promoted more easily.

Stay tuned for details at 11.

Unless you’re the Trifacta PR person. Then, KP promotes you by THREE levels above your former role at Trifacta.

KP is gone. Long gone. Enough. She is not problematic.

So true. Always scratched my head on that particular promotion decision.