Caught your attention. Sunday afternoon news flash. Legacy SWN staff in Spring slated for layoffs to make room for legacy CHK staff moving from OKC. The ultimate in Corporate America déjà vu!
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🏆 The Spring Campus World Cup Final: SWN vs. CHK Match Status: Full Time (But the real penalty happened in the locker room)
The Headline: SWN players were caught offside by a merger they thought they’d dodged. Management’s quick counter-attack? A "Right-Sizing" strategy that involved more math on a yacht than on a spreadsheet.
The Post-Match Press Conference (Transcript):
CEO: "Excited to announce our Q3'Right-Sizing Journey'! We’re saying goodbye to 200 amazing humans… I mean 'redundant synergies.' This was a hard decision I made alone, on my yacht, which I am not laying off. To the team we’re losing: you didn’t fail us. We failed at basic headcount math. Again. #Grateful #Leadership #ProbablyBuyingAnotherYacht
Excited to announce our Q3 “Right-Sizing Journey”! We’re saying goodbye to 200 amazing humans… I mean, “redundant synergies.” This was a hard decision I made alone, on my yacht, which I am not laying off.
To the team we’re losing: you didn’t fail us. We failed at basic headcount math. Again.
#Grateful #Leadership #ProbablyBuyingAnotherYacht
Took my last dump at the former SWN (now Expand) campus. Used to strategically do this throughout the building and stuff to avoid my boss. I’m going to be laid off today as per the previous poster. Too bad USA couldn’t take home the gold.
FIFA here. USA out of WC equals SWN out of Spring campus. Pack em up losers.
It’s layoff time baby!!!
2 years like really. Red card to you. Just seent HR and Execs leaving a conference room. Everyone was smiling. Layoffs next week perhaps.
You were given 2 years notice. Far beyond our peers.
Going to VAR and layoffs for legacy SWN are expected last week of June.
Legacy SWN. Be ready for layoffs to end the quarter. Gonna keep it clean on the balance sheet to be by end of 2Q
Yours truly HR
To the C suite executive. Come on man do better and properly dispose of your spent manhood. Also. No “ha” to the merging. It’s gonna be weird seen SWN staff laid off and CHK hanging up their swag.
Did anyone get laid off today? Or was it just me? I reported a used rubber in the stairwell and a c suite executive walking down those same stairs with his shirt untucked. What gives besides my job here?
Merging HA!
Word on the street is there will be more CHK then SWN in the Spring office. Irony says hold my beer