I've worked with some inept clowns, at some inept companies, but I've never seen people so high up in any organisation, who couldn't organise a four year old's birthday party, until now.
You have lost any influence over any staff, aside from the hardcore backside kissing crew, and we all know who they are. It's so bad that people don't even fear being laid off, because they have lived under the constant threat of it for years.
Don't worry though, the cheapest offshore staff, who have no experience or skills will save you, I'm sure.
Let's hope someone does a basic maths qualification before the next quarter's numbers.