My manager has this way of talking that makes you question your own work constantly. He acts like we are lucky to even get a paycheck here. I see my teammates come in every morning looking completely defeated. It is really hard to watch good people get treated this way. I wish I could quit.
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if what you say doesnt agree with a manager's ridiculous pre-conceived notions that they learned from a vendor salesman or wired magazine they will just try to gaslight you that you are wrong. be strong. find a place that values your ideas. remember, as engineers, the only thing we have to offer is our ideas.
What makes you think a new team will fix this? Are you just so willing to give Ford another chance as an employer that you cannot move out of automotive?
Ford is an unreliable employer. Management has demonstrated this over, and over again. Now they are having recruitment issues. Especially in HTHD. People are looking at how they managed RTO, the prospect of being able to work remote shrinking, and the constant re-orgs that happen. Can Ford make up its mind? Can I trust them as a source of income for more than a year? Should I even waste my time with this company? Are they a serious partner in my career plan? Right now, Ford doesn't instill confidence from outside high value potential employees. No one is tripping over themselves to claw thier way into Ford. They just aren't, after seeing the shedding of high value people in May, and the continued low key re-orgs that follow and are still happening. Do yourself and your career a favor - take the time at Ford as time served, move on to an industry that has some grounded direction.
@nn Documenting doesn't help here. Try to move into a new team.
@nh The worst part is not knowing if it’s just a misunderstanding that has escalated or if it’s malicious and she has some underlying issues. At one point, she seemed kind and decent, so I’d like to believe it’s the former, but as a grown a-s adult, I’m now genuinely afraid to come to work some days. Sad…
What’s so strange is how real the boss seems to believe their own version, like there’s this built-in power imbalance and any attempt to stay quiet somehow reads as defiance. From what I can tell, a few of us have been caught in the fallout. I’ve mostly stayed quiet to avoid more trouble, but it’s destabilizing not knowing what’s being said or when the next wave will hit.
I’ve quietly reached out for advice and they told me to keep documenting and act if it happens again. I’m expecting the gaslighting. I assume she keeps rewriting reality at each turn. It’s frightening how something small can be twisted into a threat when it never was. The worst part is how it resurfaces just when you think it’s over. I try to diffuse it but that only seems to make it worse. Stuck between coping and defending, and at this point I think people are finally starting to see it’s not a me problem it’s a boss problem.
@mv Are you the boss I'm referring to?
@mt Nicely said
@ms Funny how “doing their job” always seems to mean leaving out half the story. The parts that don’t fit their version never make it into the conversation. Then everyone’s left piecing things together from fragments and whispers while the person who caused it all gets to act calm and reasonable.
It’s not being up front if you only share the parts that make you look good. Real honesty includes the messy context too the parts that explain why people reacted the way they did. Leaving that out isn’t professionalism. It’s control.
@mq They know. They get what they want out of you and punish you for your reaction. While you're up-front, they're dealing backstage while acting d-mb to your face. At the same time, sometimes the HR and Boss are just "doing their job". A good question is to ask what doing their job is and how they "get it done".
The real mind games aren’t from people being “confusing” — they come from people who can’t handle not being in control. Instead of just talking things out, they run to HR, spin half-truths, and act like they’re the victim. They beat around the bush, pull strings behind the scenes, and tell themselves they’re “protecting” the team. In reality, they’re just avoiding an honest conversation.
What’s worse is how blind they are to the damage they cause. They create anxiety, distrust, and isolation, then call everyone else “disingenuous” when people finally pull back. They don’t see that their mind games are the trauma. They light the fire, then cry about the smoke.
@f0 what is the “up to” termination? A spanking on my bare b-m? Making the bathrooms stinkier?
I think this is where people see it as mind games. We’re being pulled into useless HR meetings with no meaningful threat other than “you’re not meeting policy”. There’s no communication and we’re being ignored. People who have requested remote exemption have had their requests sitting in limbo for months. Being told to “come in earlier” to avoid the sh!tty desk and parking situation isn’t helpful. It shows they don’t actually care about us and want attrition. How is this creating a positive work environment where I’d want to meaningfully contribute?
Office Space is becoming a documentary. “My only real motivation is not to be hassled. That and the fear of losing my job, but you know what? That’ll only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.”
There are no mindgames at Ford. Those threatening emails for not meeting badge swipes were not mindgames.
Even though you thought your vacation or other excused absences that were agreed with your local management were legitimate.
Mindgames? No. Remember, up to and including termination.
We don't play mindgames here.
American automotive brands are now the worst in everything. Look at Toyota,in contrast, selling vehicles like crazy in recession because they treat employees and customers well. They don't lay off employees like disposables. They respect everyone. In fact, ones someone is laid off it's unlikely they will ever buy the company product ever again. The most valuable customers are lost forever. You gotta be Jim Farley and Dog Show and others understand it. Mo--ns in charge.
@bc Yes, I do not speak my mind for that reason, no sense bringing up issues no one cares about.
Unfortunately, identifying bad behaviors seems to only get the messenger in trouble.
I would still suggest document everything and give feedback on your manager. I didn't give any for the worst behaviors and still got laid off. At least you will be satisfied that you recorded their bad behaviors somewhere and hopefully they will be answerable one day.
I just took a sh-t, based on the consistency, this one’s true.
All you gotta do is give your manager bad review and you will immediately be put on the layoff list. Thats what happend to me. I was tired of all the BS and finally spoke up and within a month I was gone. Oh well do not miss the place, there is so much more happiness and better pay out there not to mention this stress will ruin you from inside.