To All Employees Making $200,000 or Less,
This year’s Labor Day marks a historic shift in our national priorities. No longer shall this holiday be squandered on leisure and rest. Instead, we dedicate it to the true pillars of our economy: corporations and shareholders.
Effective immediately, all workers earning under $200,000 annually are required to report to work on Labor Day. Wages for this day will be graciously withheld in honor of those who truly labor—the board members and investors who bear the burden of quarterly earnings calls.
Refusal to comply will be met with swift and patriotic consequences. Jail time will be administered with love and liberty. 🇺🇸🫡
Let us celebrate Labor Day the American way: by working harder, earning less, and saluting those who profit most.
Yours in freedom,
#47