INTERNAL COMMUNICATION — CONFIDENTIAL
From: Bill, Chief Executive Officer
To: Our Valued Truist Teammates
Team,
Hope those jet engines are humming! The sound of productivity is truly music to my dividend-loving ears. Every hour you grind away keeps Truist soaring and my bank accounts smiling. You hardworking, salt-of-the-earth folks continue to inspire me, especially those of you in America's deep south, the backbone of our “economic patriotism.”
Let’s face it, your dedication is unmatched. Sure, you might not see those benefits trickle down, but your loyalty and, well, endearing gullibility keep the system running. Honestly, it’s impressive how many of our best-performing teammates still think the reason they’re struggling is immigrants, black and brown people, trans athletes or Democrats rather than, you know, me. But who’s counting?
Remember, keep flying that flag high, keep voting for the guy in the red hat. He’s fighting for you (wink) while I’m reaping the rewards. Together, we’ll Make Truist Great Again! One paycheck, one belief, and one miserable white re----k illusion at a time.
In care,
Bill
Chief Beneficiary Officer