Hey all! As you know we were rated #12 by USA today!! Lets help DXC be number 1 at something! Head over to Glassdoor and post your honest review about here and we shall surely break into the top 10!
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2018/06/15/worst-companies-to-work-for-employee-reviews/35812171/
Recently we had a s---c-de directly attributable to the WFR exercises. This was in some offshore location 0- Bangalore I believe.. its a shame that now human lives are being lost in this mad race for $$$
dxc should be no.1. I fully supported it. Let me print flyers for it and distribute it for free.
DXC Heaven
One day while walking down Main Street a highly qualified Server Engineer was tragically hit by a bus and died. His soul arrived up in DXC Heaven where he was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to DXC Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Server Engineer make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the tech.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in DXC Hell and a day in DXC Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in DXC Heaven," said the tech.
"Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the Server Engineer in an elevator and it went down down down to DXC Hell. The doors opened and he found himself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.
In the distance was a country club and standing in front were all his old mates, fellow techs that he had worked with and they were well dressed in good gear and cheering to see him. They ran up and had a blokey sort of group hug and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the pub where they enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. He met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy and he had a great time telling jokes and dancing. He was having such a good time that before he knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody shook his hand and waved good bye as he got on the elevator. The elevator went up up up and opened backup at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for him. "Now it's time to spend a day in DXC Heaven," he said.
So he spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. He had a great time and before he knew it his 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got him.
"So, you've spent a day in DXC Hell and you've spent a day in DXC Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
The tech paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, DXC Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in DXC Hell."
So St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and again they went down down down back to DXC Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened he found himself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. He saw old friends dressed in rags and were working perpetual weekends and decommissioning NT4 servers. The Devil came up and put his arm around him. "I don't understand," stammered the Server Engineer, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time.
Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at him and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff..."
I've been working at Chorley working very hard doing two roles and the company can't even be bothered to give me a pay rise.
I can't be bothered working hard anymore. DXC will now loose out!!
DXC Job Vacancies
You think Digital is just a buzzword? DXC: Our Sh|te is real.
TURD POLISHING CONSULTANT WANTED. US. Grade: Poofessional.
Short hours. Long turds. A soft and silky role that can stretch as far as you're willing to take it. This role is for those who aren't afraid to start at the bottom with an easy slide into management.
About you.
You are a trained in rectal II and BOT coding with extensive skills in both turd renovation and fecal waxing. You are looking for your next big break and can smell success from a mile. Let DXC be your Turd of choice.
We want someone who can prioritise their own sh|t and take as much cr@p as we can dish-out.
Every day will throw out a new challenge. Whilst we have an equal opportunities policy and would like to treat everyone the same, the odd brown-nosing may be favoured by our management team.
What will you do?
You will work with HR, who will supply most of your daily Bu{}sh|t. You will ensure all of their Turds are pinched, moulded and polished. You will also be heavily involved in Anal lytics to ensure our strong performance is squeezed from the bottom line and reported to the Bulls|t Information On Negative Impacting Colon Sh|te (or Bionics for short).
You will ensure all daily logs are fully completed and comply with our Turd Recovery Plan in case of potential 'sh|tstorms'.
In return DXC offer a workstation and hard stool. You will be subject to an annual appraisal where you will be given a number two: meets and exceeds sh|te expectations. You will then be statistically placed on a 'U-Bend curve' to flush out any undesirables. If you get through the first flush, you will t be given a new set of CRA Performance ratings.
The firm does not offer pay rises or promotion, as we expect you to enjoy working in our sh|tty environment for reducing pay.
Interested? Then contact: Peat Manure for an informal cr@p and a coffee to a-- any questions.
Language requirements: Whilst DXC's diversity policy embraces all cultures, the internationally accepted language for conducting DXC business is for all employees to be able to speak fluent digital B0ll0cks.
Note: We reserve the right to change our sh|te on a daily basis. The absence of flies on any or all of our informational, client or employee material should not be taken as a material indication that our products have not been through many stringent checks; nor should it imply or infer that our sh|te is not genuine and intended for all employees.
DXC: Our Sh|te is real.
It's nice to see a goal that DXC could actually achieve! They certainly are well positioned to make it through to the top 10 and we would strongly recommend all to help the company reach this goal. The company may as well go out with an accolade of some note.
The company continues to fail to attract top talent; I suspect those that joined thought it had growth potential. HPE and CSC big names (albeit huge losses) what could possibly go wrong?
The whole bally lot, that's what!
They have since realised that the leadership don't know how to steer this huge Titanic or should I say "A collection of acquisitions that they have failed to integrate culturally or operationally into their commodity business'. The captain is a madman who keeps the lifeboats and throws the people into the sea in the belief that it will lighten the load and make the ship lighter, faster and able to smash through icebergs.
The water continues to fill up the hull, mate.
Someone will have to pull the plug on this thing.
Although knowing Mike, he'd already have a deal in his back pocket for scrap metal.
Oh no the company is now posting on this site. DXC is still a sh-- hole company that is laying off thousands, no pay raises , no accrued vacation, servance that’s is a joke in the US.
Take a few million from ML and give all a nice increase in pay.
Ridiculous, every week there is a demise in India Office @Dxc due to work pressure or fear of being WFR. Last week event was so unfortunate. First get your house sorted then ask the forum to provide feedback.
You can’t polish a turd or maybe you can :o)