Thread regarding Honeywell International Inc. layoffs

HONEYWELL IN TALKS WITH MAJOR AIRLINES – EXCLUSIVE BUSINESS CLASS

Aug 18, 6:01 PM EDT

BY DARLENE SUMMERVILLE

ASSOCIATED PRESS


Honeywell officials and major airlines are reaching the final agreements that will give Honeywell travelers an exclusive business class: Advantage Wheel Well©. Rumored to be the linchpin of the industrial giant’s latest cost containment venture, Advantage Wheel Well© is expected to save the company over $5.0 Million per year in travel costs.

Participating airlines are already outfitting lavatories with seat belt toilets, which will be used by Honeywell travelers during takeoff. Once the Fasten Seat Belts lights are off, flight attendants will guide travelers through a special opening under the aisle, and seat them comfortably at the airplane’s wheel well.

“The available space is a big bonus”, said Honeywell’s Aerospace President and Chief Executive Officer, T. Mahoney, “and there is surprisingly much less grease than I expected.”

The new business class is expected to be available to employees at the end of this year’s annual layoffs.

Honeywell did not respond to requests for comments about the rumored “Under the Stairwell”, an agreement supposedly being forged with Motel 6.

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| 5624 views | | 9 replies (last August 21, 2017) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+OQA8CFU

9 replies (most recent on top)

thank you. we are all in need of a laugh.

This is a joke right???

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Post ID: @2wdb+OQA8CFU

No seat belts. You just bend at the waist and put your head in the stainless steel protective bowl and close the horse shoe protective collar around your neck. Probably better than the smell in coach

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Post ID: @1pnn+OQA8CFU

Too funny, but don't put it past these guys...

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Post ID: @1eaa+OQA8CFU

Hahaha, what will they serve the lucky travelers? I hear once McDonald's buys Aero it's all the McHoney combos you can stomach. I'll have the #2 please!! Oh, another bonus of flying stowage class, the McDairyass soft serve machine is fed via the lavatory ensuring a constant supply of chocolately goodness. Mmmmm there's a corn in this one!!!

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Post ID: @1dqu+OQA8CFU

And to cut more costs, the improved models will go from safety seat belts to toilets with safety shear pins. Ouch!

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Post ID: @fie+OQA8CFU

I don't know if I laugh or if I cry. Having worked at this place for almost 5 years, this news is totally believable!

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Post ID: @rss+OQA8CFU

don't give them any ideas! better yet, imagine just IF, by chance, the oxygen supply just happened to go off after reaching cruise altitude - heads off the payroll very quickly :-)

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Post ID: @flw+OQA8CFU

With the toilet seats occupied I guess all the other passengers use an empty cup or barf bag to "contain" their bodily fluid dispatches.

Just don't order a cup of "lemonade".

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Post ID: @vle+OQA8CFU

Not Fake news

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Post ID: @lws+OQA8CFU

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