Many years ago, when Seagate was a less happy place, we had a little something called "Cultural Transformation" at our site. It was precipitated by the fact that some of the Managers, Directors, and sundry Higher-Ups had become rather testy little babies, and were liable to scream at engineers or otherwise melt-down during meetings or conference calls.
(If you have never been yelled at by a Senior Director or Core Team Leader during a meeting, in front of others, you have never lived, my friend.)
Anyhoo, Cultural Transformation was meant rectify this, and it consisted of two parts: Caps and Cones. The Caps were baseball caps embroidered with a slogan about "Change" - all the managers were given these hats, but with strict orders not to wear them. They were placed on shelves or other prominent places in their offices. If you look, you might still see one around today.
The Cones were little minature orange traffic cones. They adorned signs on the walls and were also found in various offices. When you found found a Cone, you knew that you were in the presence of Cultural Transformation. It was a Safe Space, if you will.
It may not sound like much, but it did the trick. Morale and Productivity soared. Our metrics exceeded expectations to such a degree that both Rocky Bleier AND Johnny Bench came to see us. Johnny Bench even sang a few songs. Those were the Salad Days.
Fast Forward to October 2013. That was the Time of the Great Gift. I am referring, of course, to the inspired stroke of genius that only Seagate Management could execute - the momentus action that accelerated both morale and productivity at a breakneck speed: The Lifting of The Dreaded Vacation Burden.
You see, we had become so Dedicated, Driven, and Innovative that we did not want to take time away from work. Yet we were saddled with the burden of figuring out what to do with five weeks of vacation time. FIVE WEEKS! What does one do with FIVE WEEKS away from work? Most of us found this idea of being away from work very confusing and hard. So the masterstroke solution was.... to reduce this to a more manageable FOUR weeks for us!
When we realized what we had been given... sheer, glorious bedlam broke out. Low-level managers, admins, operators, technicians, engineers, planners, everyone - began bleating and gurgling with such Great Joy that the very foundations of the building shuddered. Dancing in the aisles ensued. A Chorus of Praise was lifted up unto our Blessed HR.
But it was not merely the Lifting of the Dreaded Vacation Burden itself that was so special. No indeed, it was the incredible way in which it was done. A less inspired company would have simply announced the policy change via an email or an All-Hands Meeting. But Seagate Management values us much, much more than this. They would not insult us with such a bland and banal delivery. No, they instead made it a hidden message, an Easter Egg, if you will. We had to look for it! For the Glorious Policy Annoucenment was buried, in of all places, (and as you all well know) in the depths of a boring old Open Enrollment E-Magazine. On Page 19, no less! Brilliant!! The Open Enrollment Magazine, ostensiby about silly healthcare choices, with the Greatest of News buried deep, like the Best Birthday Gift ever!
To this day, every October 25, we hold the Page Nineteen Honorific Jubilee and Hoedown. Speeches are given, there is a pie-eating contest and the recitation of hymnals and epic poetry, special activities directed by the Fitness Center staff, and of course, we elect a "Mr. and Mrs. Page Nineteen" to preside over the festivities.
So when I think about how I might get RIF'ed next week, it is especially heartbreaking.