The “quiet quitting” playbook is well known:
Stop responding to the first email you get for something and only start on 2nd request. Surprising how well this works. Second request never comes.
they are actively monitoring for mouse jigglers - had a coworker working on that where someone had a mouse recording a 1000 clicks per minute or something.
not worth getting fired over, imo. let them chuck you and pay you severance
Also, do the absolute bare minimum; Make it 3 days a week in the office, but only stay for a few hours each day; Do all your work in a week but tell them it took a month.
I'm quite fond of the "Some network change is preventing me from accessing any network resource."
Seems to happen every couple of months. Always on a busy weekend.
"My teams isn't working"
My dad told me long ago before I joined the military to never volunteer for anything. I have lived by that for years!
Step 1 is to simply ignore. Anything and everything ignore it.
Prod issue, brb - in every single team meeting
Add another one: “ some other team messed things up”