The French cable operator behaves like a slow-motion corporate pratfall that Inspector Clouseau himself would applaud? Every time I turn away, they slip on another banana peel, fall down an elevator shaft, and somehow manage to set the building on fire on the way down.
The Case: Does your dog bite?
Altice USA has filed an antitrust lawsuit against several major lenders including Apolo Capital, Ares Management and BlackRock accusing them of forming a cartel that has frozen the company out of the credit markets.
Let me restate this:
A company buried in debt is suing lenders because the lenders...don't want to lend it more money. A Decade of French Stewardship:
Altice didn't just show up one day.
They bought Suddenlink and Cablevision a decade ago, and then managed it with the precision and discipline of a French road crew on strike.
The French love of hierarchy, bureaucracy, and central planning collided with two gritty American cable operators and the result was...this.
Ten years of shrugging, hand-waving, and "we will study zee matter carefully," all while the infrastructure aged like Camembert left out in August.
Now, after torching the balance sheet and alienating customers, Altice has concluded that the real problem is...the finance bros.
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If you are not Tom Spackman, at least give him credit, this is a full copy/paise of his article on Linked in.
We have lost