Life lessons from someone who was laid off from another oil and gas company years ago—and learned it’s not the end of life, but the start of a new chapter.
- Identity tied to work
Often we invest so much time and energy into a job that we end up confusing what we do with who we are. If the company lets us go, it feels like they’re rejecting our identity, not just our role.
- External recognition
Work is often a source of validation: bosses, colleagues, achievements, promotions. When that disappears, it creates a void that can make us doubt our own value.
- Security and belonging
A job also represents economic stability and a place in a community (team, corporate culture). Being fired can feel like losing a “family” or security, which hits beyond just the professional level.
- Social narrative
Society often measures success through work. This makes us unconsciously internalize the idea that being fired equals “failure,” even though in reality it’s just a change in circumstances.
- Emotional factor
Even though rationally we know human value doesn’t depend on an employer, emotionally it’s hard to separate self-esteem from this experience, especially in vulnerable moments.
The key is to rebuild your narrative: being fired is not a judgment on your value—it’s just the end of a cycle in a place that no longer fits you. Your experience, character, talents, and ability to learn remain intact.
Practical Strategies to Reconnect with Your Value After Being Fired
🔹 1. Redefine the narrative
Instead of thinking “I was fired”, reframe it as:
• “That place was no longer right for me.”
• “A door closed, but it opens others that may fit me better.”
The words we use shape how we feel.
🔹 2. Separate “role” from “identity”
Make a list of who you are outside of work: parent, friend, creative, good listener, curious, resilient.
This helps remind you that your essence doesn’t depend on a contract.
🔹 3. Take stock of personal and professional achievements
Write down your accomplishments, not just at work, but also personal ones (e.g., learned a language, supported a friend, overcame a challenge).
Whenever you feel your value is in question, review this list.
🔹 4. Seek internal, not external validation
A company validates results; you can validate your effort, learning, and integrity.
Ask yourself: Am I proud of how I worked? Of how I grew?
🔹 5. Build a support network
Talk to people who value you for who you are (family, friends, mentors). This reinforces the idea that you are not “your job.”
🔹 6. Practice healthy detachment
A useful exercise: imagine your CV and current job disappear. What’s left? What remains—your character, creativity, values—is who you truly are.
🔹 7. Refocus on the future
Set small goals: a course, a personal project, learning something new. This restores a sense of progress and control.