Hertz will enthusiastically fork over a six-figure salary for the prestigious privilege of “leading” people on Teams—usually squeezed somewhere between your mid-morning nap, your daily Starbucks pilgrimage, your hair appointment, a quick load of laundry, a light workout, a heart-to-heart with your work-from-home spouse, and—naturally—your semi-professional pickleball training.
All while the company is basically on fire. Why visit a location when you can watch the flames from the comfort of your couch? Besides, going onsite requires effort, pants, and possibly arranging a babysitter. Absolutely not.
And here’s the best part: you too can snag one of these do-nothing, add-no-value positions. The secret formula? Olympic-level a-s-kissing, a PhD in micromanagement, and the uncanny ability to write “notes” like you’re transcribing a Supreme Court hearing.
Wondering how to land one of these cushy roles? Easy. Hertz will invent a work-from-home, zero-deliverables, six-figure job just for you—as long as they like you. So warm up that nose, dust off those “Excel skills,” and practice looking extremely busy while accomplishing absolutely nothing.
Dreams really do come true.