Thread regarding Chevron Corp. layoffs

I am not quitting at all and loving it. I am not a quitter, but you do you, lol.

After installing keyboard and mouse activity equipment (really just a vi-----r), I had to attend HR repetitive stress abatement training, which worked out well because, after that, I got EE for deducing my computer use by inviting the young ladies for extended Starbucks discussions and being a DEI champion.

after breaking my back for years, it took COVID to show me that the performance rating you get is completely divorced from the effort you put in. It's been almost 3 years of hard core quiet quitting, and no change in EOY performance ratings.

@ea+1, a better strategy is to have your eager 8-yr old play around in PowerPoint and Excel. Hard to separate their jibberish from actual work.

@dv you better believe they will review your mouse and keyboard strokes if they want to. Just moving your mouse may not be the best strategy if you think you’ll EOI or even get severance. Don’t underestimate the power and determination this company (I.e., H. aRe) has to throw their employees in the dumpster.

Wow, a lot people started their career this way!

Love that list. I would add:

1. Use ChatGPT to render a bunch of nonsense that you can use in emails and presentations. It’s great rendering bullet pointed list on all kinds of subjects. I don’t use it from work…home laptop or personal cell phone. And yes Co-Pilot is useless for this.

The other thing is, if you are WFH, consider a mouse mover (the kind you plug into a USB and place your mouse on). All large companies have the ability to do some serious tracking of employee activity on their computers…but who is actually ever going to view the data at anything more than a very high level? Having a mouse mover simply ensures that you are having some base level of computer activity when you’re working from home and doing other tasks.

Dude, your list is funny but good and bad. I haven't quiet quit, but I sure as Jesus has fu--ing sandles ain't answering emails after work, phone calls only, and it better be fu--ing important.

Rules for quiet quitting:

1. Work no longer than your regular shift. Use your van pool as an excuse to leave on time every day. If you're not in a van pool, claim that you are.
2. Read or answer no emails after hours
3. Work no weekends
4. Keep your performance goals modest. That way should you exceed them, EE's!
5. Do all the corporate and safety training, but take your time doing them
6. Pawn your work onto younger employees, you can claim it's "mentoring". Make sure they do all your spreadsheets and PowerPoints. If something goes wrong, you can blame them. If something goes right, more EE's!

Extended rules for quiet quitting:

1. Arrive late, make up for it by leaving early (well, hard to do if you're in a van pool, but see 2) and 3), below).
2. Have breakfast in the cafeteria on Chevron time. Meet with a quiet quitter from another group, you can claim it's cross-functional training.
3. Drink Starbucks in the cafe area most of the afternoon. Use the time to plan your next vacation or look for another job. Be sure to take your laptop, that way you'll look like you're doing something. Form a circle of quiet quitters you can alternate "meeting" with, they can also provide alibis.
4. It's a little more expensive, but eat lunch offsite. The food's better, and you can stretch lunch into 2 hours or more before anyone knows you're not around. Again, use other quiet quitters as your alibi. Maybe get some vendors to buy your lunch.
5. Fill your Outlook calendar with fictitious meetings so no one will schedule your time, especially early or late in the day (see rules #1,2, and 3, above)
6. Attend lots of network meetings, and sign up for volunteer activities, especially those that take up most of the day, and those your boss or boss's boss is also attending.

Started doing the same around a year ago. Zero difference. Kicking myself for the years of overwork.

100%
Thank you Chevron, for making the rules of engagement abundantly clear. I will care about my own well being first, you are somewhere in the top 5 - but I will do just enough, and balance out the HE-L you have put us through - during each and every re-org you have implemented (over 7 during my time at CVX).

Please just keep doing your job to the best of your ability. Let everything else work out.

I agree. Debasing yourself for corporate overlords, who would happily replace you tomorrow and never think about you again, is a complete lack of self respect.

Great example of someone with no self respect.

Heyo! Me too. Treat this as it is: a job at a cold, soulless corporate behemoth that cares solely about a handful of institutional shareholders. They think so little of you they will make you reapply for your own job, just in case they need an excuse to stash a non-qualified hipot in your seat at 30% more pay.