My son was born when I had a remote job, then Covid happened and I was home all the time (he’s always been in daycare while I’ve worked, though). Now he’s in first grade and this back to office is ki-ling me because I can’t be in multiple locations at once. I get him to school at 8. We live just north of spring and on my best days, I’m still coming into the parking garage after 9am. I have a friend who helps me with carpooling from our neighborhood a couple of days a week and gets the boys to their mutual after school activities so I can meet them there but I feel like all I do is manage a commute to satisfy a rule that is not in the best interest of anyone who wants to also be present with their children. I was always very good at my job and being the mom with fully stocked cooler at the field. I look around and wonder who else is quietly dealing with this? And why aren’t we saying anything as a collective voice. I’m tired of decisions being made for me by men whose wives or nannies have made them believe this is manageable for people who are lacking coparenting support.
24 replies (most recent on top)
So, describing how 99% of the people in society grew up, raised their kids and giving tips on dealing with it is not having "compassion" and "unacceptable". I guess this is what we get when children are coddled, spoiled and not taught to deal with adversity and how to live in the unforgiving real world, then they become parents.
Some of the replies are so critical of her situation. So many people in the world don’t have compassion for other people’s situations. Probably 80% of the people in my team are working flexible hours. Whether it is late to work arrival or early departures for family schedules.
I understand her situation and have compassion for her. There are a lot of people who need flexibility in their work schedule.
The comments on her moving closer to work are so unacceptable, living closer to work and expecting to live in a decent area with good schools is unrealistic.
OP, I hope you find the best blend of work and personal life you need.
We hired a nanny and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on her over 12 to 15 years. She lived with us when the girls were young. My daughters turned out fabulous by the way. I understand the lure of work from home, but it was not an option then. I think, looking back, I would have taken a pay cut to work from home, but we still would have needed a nanny......
Move closer to work, put your kid in before school and after school daycare by the office that can bus them to school and back. Get in at 6 and Leave at 4
I hear WFH is coming back
This is false. There are companies, especially global ones, that are flexible on when and where you get work done. CVX works across time zones. They’re making up rules for the sake of it. Mike’s whole “there’s members of our workforce who don’t have that option” argument is weak. They chose that career path and others chose careers that can very much be done from anywhere. It shouldn’t be a one size fits all approach when you have 70,000 people who work for you and healthy percentage are dispersed corporate contractors who don’t have to follow the same rules.
Before school and after school care. Yes, I paid for those for years
@cv women have an asymmetrical advantage in today’s Chevron. Full Stop…
Try being Stale, Pale, Male over 50 and see what HR will do to your career. There’s 6000 people who would take your job and enjoy coming 5 days a week
@b6 Hear hear. OP seems to think the world owes her favors because she pop out a sprog. Sorry. THAT decision was yours. Decisions have consequences.
There's no full-time professional careers (or very few) that allow a single parent to do what OP is asking without paying for help in some form or fashion, day care, sitters, nannie, whatever. Just because the OP fell into a gold mine situation where they could so-called "work from home" and also take care of children (while allegedly working, mind you) for a short time under certain circumstances doesn't mean that it's normal. I mean it sounds nice and caring and all that but do you want to pay all of your full time employees to stay at home and take care of their children while they are supposedly also working? Seriously? Be thankful that it lasted for as long as it did. If you hire on under those conditions, you should be paid appropriately less. Remote positions pay less for many reasons. Believe me, we have endured much worse over the years. First world problems, for sure, lol.
@b3 Lol. What misogyny in the comments? If there were a gentleman posting these gripes, the feedback would be just as harsh (if not work).
You want a part-time job that affords full-time pay.
There are over 6000 unemployed candidates who are qualified looking to fill your position with lower pay and work in the office 5 days a week like the old days. Your privileged and just don’t realize how precarious your job security is…Chevron will not survive continuing with the bifurcated work model…they will need to absorb another companies assets and personnel
OP, we use to drop our kids off at daycare around 6:00am or so and then pick them up after work. Daycare got them to and from school for us each day so that helped. They also fed them breakfast and a snack after school. That way we could get to the offices early and leave early so the kids did not have to be in daycare too long after school let out. It might not be what you are looking for but just an idea.
@b0 I do. I absolutely care about my child more than Chevron. But I also love my career. I’m not a fan of the bait and switch on culture (what I hired in under and where the company stands today are vastly different). Also the misogyny in these comments is gross and I greatly hope none of the commenters have wives/daughters and genuinely believe the current systems are operating in any sense that gives women a decent quality of life.
OP - It is tough for sure, but I doubt the company or any company for that matter cares about any of us. If you like your job then maybe move closer to work like previously stated. You could also look at Oxy, Exxon, and Expand Energy that have offices closer to you. I have a friend that works for Oxy in The Wodlands and they work M,F at home and Tues,Wed,Thursday in the office. They also told me your hours in the office are flexible. Maybe your direct manager can work out hours better for you, and you can take PTO in hour increments to make the afternoon activities. Just a thought and good luck.
@at Good grief, none of the above. I expect to be able to manage the way I was managing prior to this stupid system of badge checks and 4 days in office rolled out—I expect to get up, have breakfast with my kid, get him to school, drive the 10 minutes home instead of the hour+ to the office and get to my computer before the requests start rolling in, and then be home when my kid gets home, continue my work after dinner. Right now, I’m not more productive. I spend over an hour in the car in the morning and sometimes an hour and a half to drive home in the afternoon. So that’s nearly three hours I’m not working. Three hours I AM dependent on co-workers. And when I get home in the evenings, I do NOT put in more work because I have a couple of precious hours with my child before we sleep and get up an enact the whole thing all over again. I was a high performer prior to all this. I cranked out more work in six months than some did all year. But mothers (who make up a healthy portion of the workforce in modern times) cannot, despite what everyone demands, DO IT ALL.
If you care about your family more than your career, then Chevron is not the right place for you. Our Culture is changing before our eyes.
@a8, The response was not a "right" or "wrong" response but simply that previous generations have had to make sacrifices for their children and managed to get by and make it work. What do you suggest that this "modern society" do for you? Free stuff? Things provided by, or on the backs of your coworkers? Give us more details. There already is quite a bit of tax advantage.
Don't have children and then take your extra financial resources and live a life of indulgence. If you do chose to have them you know what comes with it. Have your husband do half, pay for care or live with less money. Company shouldn't be responsible for your personal family needs.
Move closer to the office
@a9 I didn’t make that decision for myself. That decision was also made for me. What a completely stupid comment.
@OP "I’m tired of decisions being made for me by men whose wives or nannies have made them believe this is manageable for people who are lacking coparenting support."
Oh ... you mean the decision to be a single mother?
@a2 just because that’s how it’s always been done, doesn’t make it right…especially when we work in a modern society that has proven there are other options that better support working mothers who are genuinely good at their jobs.
Daycare / nannies / family is how most single parents handle it. Or they find a different job that doesn't have the same demands on the and schedule. That's how it's been for very long time. Family used to be the biggest help in those situations, but over the years it seems we help each other out less and less.