Thread regarding Open Text Corp. layoffs

@bm Please tell me you are a regular on /r/writingprompts, because this is good stuff

The year was 2026, and at the OpenText headquarters, the air was thick with the scent of "Information Management" and slightly burnt espresso.

In a glass-walled conference room nicknamed "The Cloud," a meeting was taking place that would determine the fate of the enterprise. On one side of the table sat Aviator. He was wearing a leather flight jacket over a slim-fit suit, Ray-Ban shades (indoors), and had a habit of making "whoosh" noises whenever he finished a sentence.

On the other side sat Titanium. Titanium wasn't a person, exactly. He was a 600-pound sentient block of metal that looked suspiciously like a 1990s server rack wearing a "Micro Focus" t-shirt that was three sizes too small.

"Listen, T," Aviator said, flipping his collar. "The board wants results. They want generative insights. They want magic. And I’m the guy with the goggles to give it to them. Whoosh."

Titanium groaned, a sound that resembled a dial-up modem trying to connect in a thunderstorm. "Aviator, you’ve been here six months. I’ve been here since the Documentum era. I have layers. I have legacy. I have technical debt that is literally carbon-dating back to the Mesozoic period."

"That’s the problem!" Aviator shouted, accidentally knocking over a bowl of 'Human-in-the-Loop' branded jellybeans. "You’re too heavy. You’re 'The Titanium Roadmap.' You sound like a 1980s action movie starring a guy who can’t bend his knees. We need to be nimble! We need to be agentic!"

Titanium sighed, and a small cloud of dust—actual, physical data from an un-migrated eDOCS server—puffed out of his cooling vents. "Nimble? My 'Roadmap' has 1,500 connectors, Aviator. I am connected to everything. I am connected to SAP. I am connected to Workday. I am currently connected to a toaster in Buffalo, New York, for some reason. If I move too fast, the global supply chain for mid-sized stapler companies collapses."

"We’re 'Shrinking to Grow,' T!" Aviator argued. "We just sold Vertica! We’re lean! I’m going to fly us into the future."
"You don't even have a plane," Titanium pointed out. "You're a large language model wrapped in a high-marketing budget. Last week, a customer asked you to summarize a 400-page service contract, and you just wrote back: 'The vibes are generally contractual.'"

Aviator adjusted his shades. "It was a 'creative hallucination,' Titanium. Users love the mystery. It keeps the 'Human-in-the-Loop' busy. Speaking of which..."
He whistled, and a man named Gary walked in. Gary looked tired. He was holding a magnifying glass and a dictionary.
"Gary is our new Governance Protocol," Aviator announced.

Gary looked at Titanium, then at Aviator. "Can I go home? I've been 'in the loop' for 72 hours straight trying to explain to a chatbot why it can't grant itself administrative privileges to the payroll database."

"Not now, Gary!" Aviator snapped. "Titanium and I are synergizing!"
Titanium let out a long, metallic creak. "Fine. If we’re doing this, we do it my way. I’ll provide the massive, immovable foundation of unstructured data, and you can put some sparkly wings on it. But if we crash, I’m the one who has to explain the 'Information Governance' of why the CEO's avatar is suddenly a cat."

Aviator stood up and extended a hand. "Deal. Together, we are... The Titanium Aviator."

"That sounds like a brand of expensive dentures," Titanium muttered, but he shook the hand anyway, the sound of his metal joints screaming for a firmware update.

Outside, the stock price fluctuated by 0.2%. Gary sighed and went back to his magnifying glass. The mission was a go. Whoosh.

@ba Not OP but as long as we're doing AI Slop, how about this one:

Request: Break down “executive work” into replaceable functions

Executives don’t do one job—they perform a bundle of functions:

Core executive functions
Strategic planning
Resource allocation
Performance monitoring
Cross-org coordination
External representation (customers, investors, regulators)
Risk management & compliance
Culture / narrative setting
Hiring & org design

AI can fully or partially replace ~70–90% of these operationally, but not all accountability.

Least it is more topical than noise about that Musky a--clown

@a1 Dude, are you just posting AI response slop about Elon Musk in thread? If we wanted to talk to chatgpt about Elon, we can do it on our own time.

deport elon musk

Core principle: Before automation, the entire process must be run manually. Automating an unvalidated process will only make errors occur faster and be extremely difficult to correct later.
Implementation method:

• Don't lock in any equipment or systems at this stage.
• Use manual labor to find all friction points and incorrect assumptions.
• "Before figuring out how to optimize this process, the machines are not allowed to be locked to the floor because once they are, they are very difficult to move."

### Step 2 | Radically Eliminate Processes
Core principle: For each step in the process, one must be able to answer: "Will the customer pay for this step?" If the answer is no, delete it.
Implementation method:

• Eliminate all administrative steps that customers don't pay for, such as engineering change orders, internal documents, and financial forms.
• Keep deleting until minor glitches occur, then add back just the necessary parts.
• Musk's benchmark: "If you haven't added back 10% of what you deleted, you haven't cut enough."
  He will actively ask the team to keep deleting until they really go too far and something starts to go wrong, then go back and add back the necessary steps, using failure to find the boundaries.