Great news, team!
After months of being told that our jobs absolutely require us to be in the office five days a week, we’ve now discovered a groundbreaking truth: remote work magically becomes possible the moment a storm named Fern shows up.
To keep things consistent with the company’s logic, I propose a simple standard:
- If we can physically get to the office: we work.
- If we can’t: that’s a company problem, not an employee problem.
- And since remote work “isn’t viable,” we obviously won’t be doing any work from home.
After all, if flexibility only exists when it benefits the company, then employees should follow the same rule. No work from home. No exceptions. Just honoring the policy, we were told was non‑negotiable.