Are there others within the company who have felt that their career progression hit a roadblock after becoming parents (specifically moms), and if so, how have they navigated or overcome this challenge? Seems like the norm is to simply brush women off right before and after maternity leave “because it’s time to focus on your families”
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Women have the tailwind on their career progression at CVX. OP’s complaint is not valid.
What I see often is that "Kim" has not moved into a long term childcare model. Basically either a parent needs to quit, you need to hire a nanny, you need a parent / relative to help or you send the kid to daycare. I see new parents think that somehow they can avoid the cost or hassle of one of these options and it just does not work long term. MAYBE it can work if the parents happen to work opposite schedules (maybe the husband works nights and Kim works days).
The right thing to do is tell Kim she is not performing adequately. Tell her she can use her leave short term but in the long run she has to be at work. If she pushes back you have to be clear that her personal challenges are not an excuse to miss work. Would she be OK with you docking her pay if she worked from home? I think not.
Having kids is a change so give her a chance. But also do not let her think this is OK. If you do it will reinforce that she can continue down this path.
@4hbd, we (meaning me, you, and all our co-workers) value people at work for their performance, and value people as friends and decent human beings. While your "Kim" may be an exemplary mother, she's certainly not being an exemplary employee. Simple as that. Home situations do not deter from work responsibilities and expectations.
I might put Kim on a PIP if she doesn't turn things around. I would definitely give Maude more money.
I witnessed the exact opposite. Women having their babies then coming back in the same or a higher position. They are a protected group.
It is actually worse being single. You get to work extra hours, no extra 8 weeks of bonding (glorified vacation). No time off for day care drop offs or take the day off since your child is sick. You actually have a better life.
My career stall when I followed Chevron's manual and made safety my number one priority. Silly me, management demanded that I focus on efficiency of the crews and let safety take care of itself. Maybe that's why the safety metric as a part of CIP is always in the toilet. But the share holders make out better and those that sacrificed lives and body parts would be so proud of what they helped accomplish.
Serious question, as it has actually happened to me. Suppose I have two employees, both female and both high performing.
Lady one, I'll call her Maude, has her usual good year and meets or exceeds all her goals per plan. I rate her EE on most items.
The other, we'll call Kim, has a baby in January and works from home 3 days per week to care for the baby. Kim misses a lot of meetings and doesn't make some of her goals. How should Kim be rated? Management advised me to rate her an EM on everything. Do we make any allowance for her being less able to work?
I work for a support function in one of the many support functions that are removed from the core business. Becoming a parent actually had the reverse effect on me. It kinda made me realise how pointless some of the work was and how far removed from actual value some of the things that our leadership chased vs what would add value but gets turned down because it ain't headline wirthy. The illogical and slow decision making also got to me.
Since becoming a parent, I have intentionally stalling my career by no longer being proactive, not volunteering for anything and doing the bare minimum. That extra time and mental space is now for my kids and building my own business which gives me the sense of fulfillment that my job can't. I'll keep collecting my pay check until the next layoff.
How are you defining "stall" ? Is you expectation constant promotion?
I appreciate the individuals on this thread that took that this post as an opportunity to mentor someone who clearly seemed to be reaching out for help / advice after becoming a new parent. For those of you who chose to go on the attack, seems like you may the type of people that he or she is dealing with on the daily at work. Shame on you. It’s unfortunate that you think it’s okay to degrade and attack someone anonymously. No winder morale at the company is at an all time low.
Simple fact: any time you're away from your career (layoffs, leaves, family obligations, etc.), you are going to 'stall'. This comes from a (male) parent who put his family first, and worked hard the rest of the time. Did it cost me? Of course it did - if 'career' was my goal in life. Now retired, I relish the accomplishments in my career, but those are a distant second to all the accomplishments and memories of family time together. As others have noted, you have to establish what your priorities are in life. Truth be told, look at your higher managers and 'high flyers', most of them never talk about family life, because they don't have one. Those few extra dollars and artificial titles don't mean anything in the long run. Everyone will reach a point in their lives when they realize that family was way more important than any position or raise in Chevron.
If your career progression is so much important than kids, then you need to re-prioritize, but for most normal people kids and family always come first, career is just a means to enjoy life and provide better opportunities for your kids and family. So many women decide to stay home and take care of the kids and family and many of them are very happy [they chose it not based on desperation but out of love and interest]. Any career can become stalled at some point, not everyone will advance all the time, you have to be mentally ready to enjoy your work and your progress in life, it is not always about raises, more responsibility and more vertical move, sometimes lateral moves or even mentoring younger generation can be more satisfactory and rewarding internally, it all comes to your perspective of life and what matters most to you, a job title and role, or family, life and living to the best of circumstances.
Some of the best career advice I got from a senior woman leader back in the day is that your career progression varies tremendously as your life progresses. Sometimes it will be fast and you’ll find yourself in a job that you love that inspires and motivates you and rewards you both mentally and monetarily. Other times you will need to go slower because other things in your life will take priority over your job. Maybe that’s kids, or taking care of elderly parents, or a significant illness in yourself or your spouse, or any one of a number of different things that come up. The point though is that it’s ok to recognize that your career progression is not linear and you can choose to lean in or to step back at any point, and that too can change as your life circumstances change. If you feel things are slow at the moment and you want them to speed up, think through what it would take to lean in and make it happen.
Both Moms and Dads can be at disadvantage initially. But that should be temporary. After the first year it shouldn't be an issue and the company is very flexible to new parents in that aspect. If it continues to be impacting your job after the first year, then you have to face the facts, focus what is important to you and not lament what could have been or blame someone else for the stagnation.
Also, to be a GM, you can get there with brilliance, but being a sociopath works too. None of them are d-mb, but some really wouldn't lift a finger to help anyone but themselves.
True stuff.
Only like 5% get to GM and above. We all see those d-mb ones and say "oh I am.better than him" but most are sharp cookies that also play the game.
In the last few ROMs the majority of women were protected (and knew so). There is no agenda in the company against "moms" -- if anything it's the polar opposite
Everyone is also different. There are great women leaders and terrible male ones. But also vice versa.
Back to topic. Just keep your head up and try to deliver this year. Also do the same network, kiss up, etc it takes to get ahead.
Yes, subservient. It’s a universal truth. Get with it or live out your life feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Subservient? People like you are why DE&I initiatives exist. Disgusting response.
Some good advice here.
As a recent dad I do feel that the same is expected of me while women are given more leeway because their are tradtionally the caregivers. So stereotypes cut both ways. It is not always easy to balance everything and you may feel more burnt out while actually doing less at work. Yes it stinks but that was a choice. If you deliver at work then I think you will get the same or more recognition.
I cannot say that is true, and was specifically address 5 years back in MARC conversations. The message at management level it present the opportunity (leader role, expat assignment) to the talented individual and let them decide if it works for them. I have seen new mothers being protect by ROMs and coming back to promotions.
There has been great improvement for new dads too. Many years back when I had mine, I was “asked” to cover for a colleague whom was having a child the same month as my wife and then they took an additional 6months off. 2 jobs and a lousy 2- that year.
Careers have fast and slow periods of growth, often it is faster in the first years, so you feel you hit a dry patch later. Use this time to learn new skills, and get good at your job, or take a lateral move to gain broader experience . Remember there are many others are working hard and wanting opportunities too.
I agree with the others I've seen those that don't have kids are expected to take on more work to cover for those who have kids. Also in the current structure of the company women and especially women with diversity have a leg up on males anyway. I think its more so most everyone's careers are stalled to cut costs.
I have seen the opposite. Folks who are NOT parents taking on additional workload, stress and responsibilities because some employees who have children abuse the system and use that as a reason to not deliver… constantly taking their child to/from daycare, having to leave early or come in late due to x, etc. I get it, the kids are the priority over a job as anyone would expect. But typically there is no recourse for that behavior, just less work but same progression as the others who pick up the slack.
Life is about tradeoffs. Kids take up a lot of time and attention especially for moms. I have never seen anyone discriminate against parents but I could see how the time away from work would slow your career progress. That said, being a parent is way more fulfilling than having a better career so I think the tradeoff is worth it.