Well a long waste of time again. SG just told us all to quit.
That made a few of us laugh out loud.
Let's see.
14 replies (most recent on top)
Go away bossman. No one misses you except for one poor unfortunate soul. You do all that smart talking yet you don't have a clue how to run anything IT or infosec. The new guy is en fuego.
The whining here is hysterical. Shut up and do your work. Uncle Accenture is ready to take your job at a moments notice.
Freaking freeloaders. Dump the stock and turn in your employee discount card if you that butt hurt. There's enough to do around here that you id--ts who think your God's gift to IT just getting in the way. Keep getting rid of the waste so the rest of us can get on with it already.
Omg enough already. Just do your job.
Stop riding on everyone else’s effort. Take some ownership for once.
@43c Oh please. JM is less Odin’s gift to man and more like Clippy’s long-lost cousin—if Clippy forgot what a keyboard was for.
JM isn’t a CISO; he’s more of a CIS-Oh-no. A “quantum-level cyber-oracle”? More like quantum confusion. While the rest of us are defending against APTs, JM is over here locking himself out of his own VPN because he “thought the password field was just a suggestion.”
Reverse-engineering malware? The man can’t even reverse-engineer a spreadsheet formula. Nation-state hackers rest easy knowing JM is on watch—because that’s when they really get things done.
His threat intelligence is so advanced, it’s basically science fiction. His Sentinel dashboards? Picasso if he used crayons and forgot what a graph was. The SIEM doesn’t tremble in awe—it crashes in protest. The SOC doesn’t whisper about JM—they mute the call when he joins.
MITRE ATT&CK? JM thought it was a new Mortal Kombat character. Kusto Query Language? He is the “ugh” in KQL. And when it comes to phishing, JM once replied to a scam email with his real credentials, “just to see what would happen.”
While real CISOs are out here juggling compliance, risk, and strategy, JM’s idea of “hardening infrastructure” involves yelling at the printer and rebooting the router… by unplugging the coffee machine. If InfoSec is a battlefield, JM is still reading the tutorial. Backwards.
In the end, JM is less of a security leader and more of a cautionary tale. A living, breathing exception rule. A compliance checkbox that somehow checked itself.
Oh, shut up. JM is Odin’s gift to man. JM isn’t just a CISO, but a quantum-level cyber-oracle, a threat-hunting demigod sent from the digital heavens. While mere mortals struggle to patch zero-days and configure firewalls without setting off the coffee machine, this legend reverse-engineers nation-state malware during lunch breaks and mitigates supply chain compromises before the vendors even know they’ve been breached.
His threat intelligence? Prophetic. His Sentinel dashboards? Michelangelo wishes he had that kind of visual clarity. The SIEM trembles in awe. The SOC refers to him in hushed tones as “The One With Root on Reality.”
MITRE ATT&CK framework? Completed it, mastered it, wrote fanfiction about it. Cybersecurity isn’t just his job, it’s his multiverse. He is the “gusto” in Kusto Query Language. No phishing campaign survives his gaze, no zero-day slips through his EDR of omniscience.
While other CISOs worry about governance and compliance, this titan casually hardens infrastructure with a stare and multi-factor authenticates reality itself. Truly, we are living in the shadow of the InfoSec sun.
LOL seriously, even from across the pond, bye Jeff. Everything he touched this year turned into a disaster. At least I enjoyed watching the slow motion train wreck.
Guess it’s time for Jeff to wreck another company, burn bridges, and blame the vendors when he inevitably gets shown the door like clockwork, every 1.5 years. A true masterclass in failing upward.
New CISO started. Sigh not as nice or smart as the last one.
Well if I was him. He should watch RT who will stab him in the back.
Well ya have ta remember his mentor is LinkedIn own CEO TH. She is all in on the LinkedIn. Justa marketing herself for her next gig. TH and RT are justa using SG name for everything.
Maybe HR should ask about TH. This place is get more toxic all the time.
Well I would not worry much about RT or Deputy as HR are asking questions about his style and presence. Seems he has been a bit to much for a lot of people in GTS and his own team.
It is just like last time we have to suffer him being this way. At least this time he has no chance for the position.
Maybe RT is trying to help thin out the security team by being the pain he is. He is beginning to annoy other teams both in InfoSec and GTS.
To the deputy CISO is going around his micro management circuit. Being in his team is stressful enough. Now it's like he is supercharged to be even more painful.
Wish he would chill out. We were a great team until now.
lol it’s so obvious the company’s just tryna get people to quit 😂
first the full 5-day RTO thing… and now this??
they’re just tryna dodge severance at this point lmao