Within the next year or two (maybe even in a few months!), when some layoffs really do happen at Target, we can tell everyone "we told you so!"
This of course will only come after we have:
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Brought to everyone's attention some private meetings that are on someone's calendars. We will try this tactic again in April, July, and October (fact: these director meetings happen once a quarter, you know).
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Shifted the focus a few times, just to keep everyone on their toes and not leave anyone out on the fun. Bangalore is being outsourced to InfoSys. CoE is dead. No actually, it's BTT. And PM CoE. Oh hell, it's all of TTS! Wait, I just heard again it's just the CoE.
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Warned everyone on several different occasions that Target has ordered hordes of taxis to whisk people off as they're handed their walking papers in the coming week. Don't ask us how we know, we just do!
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When we promise layoffs on a certain date and it doesn't happen, we'll just say it was delayed, and it's actually happening next week, we really mean it this time!
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Used some newsworthy event to explain why a previously predicted layoff never occurred, to save face. We'll probably try this one again sometime in the summer.
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But mostly, just for fun, didn't even bother with details or sources or anything. The scariest, most authoritative thing we can do here has proven to be just dropping a quick note along the lines of "It's coming. Update your resumes. It's only a matter of time. 3k people are losing their jobs. This is a fact, because I know it, and I am saying it. Plus, someone whispered this to me this in the cafeteria and they're really plugged-in." It's really a great service we are providing to everyone, isn't it?
That's going to be a lot of egg to scrub off our faces, but a small price to pay for the great cause we will ultimately serve. Once the egg is off we can emerge, squeaky clean, as liberators of tightly guarded information. Heroes, even.
Just you wait. You'll see!
So someone just told me that Testing COE is being shut down in March. If you are in Testing COE, please start looking for a new job. Don't say I didn't warn you!