Check out other E&P companies and see how little activity there is on their layoff boards. The last post over at Range was a year ago. Even CHK only has a few a month or so. SWN has dozens of posts every month or more. This is a sign of major issues both in the past and the future. SWN is truly top quartile. Keep on winning!
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I would pay thousands of dollars if, someone figured out how to make the 5th floor bathroom freshwater neutral after ol' Billy gets done with it.
I saw a stack of layoff papers Billy left behind in the stall. Some people read magazines, books, newspapers but ol' Billy loves them layoff papers.
Calling all plunger experts! The only splash being made is in the 5th floor men’s room! The ammo and fancy buzzword speeches has clogged the c-apper! Even the silver plated industrial grade model isn’t enough to choke down that load of $hit! Changes coming, along with a restroom with fresher air!
This ship about to make a big splash in the g01f at a p000rtt near you!
I read the conference transcript for investors. Silly Billy is running out of ammo, he kept flaunting the Fayetteville shale sale like it was his last day/no tomorrow. I thought it was hilarious when NP called him out toward the end of the conference call on it.
Bet you used your moonshine proceeds and bribed them with your best WV swill. Tip of the hat to you!
Hey. I have a GED. My parents had to bribe to get it for me. They also bribed to get me in Reform School.
I feel guilty and will return my GED and Reform School certificates.
Leaving SWN HQ for the day. Still employed. Nice try though.
Can this site be about big news or layoffs. Don’t care if Silly Billy gives out his plunger awards. Just need to cash the paycheck.
Glad I don’t work with those WV GED grads cause they are not smart to figure this out like I have. Hahahahaha
Hey Wise guy! I’ve got you in my sights. Your SWN phone is essentially a beacon with a flashing light on top. Easy to find. Been building my evidence file for a while now.
Pro tip: don’t connect your company phone to your home WiFi. We have all of the records. I see that you have invested in an international plunger company. I think we all know who the wise guy is. #sillybilly
Hi Security Chief! Using my SWN phone now. Catch me if you can! If not I am sure our CPO or Chief Plunger Officer aka Silly Billy will put you on the next layoff sheet
Alright folks! Funny stuff and all, tracking “movements” (I assume the ones in the 5th floor men’s room that require an industrial grade plunger), but let’s keep it to layoffs please! This is a serious forum for serious professionals wanting to know if their days are numbered at SWN! Thank you!
We know who you are. We know which car you drive. We are able to track the websites you visit with your company phone, as well as your movements to and from the building. If I were you, I’d start getting to work earlier, and I mean much earlier, and refrain from the 2+ hour lunches if you want to have a chance of not getting laid off this time. There are benefits of getting to work real early. The toilets haven’t usually been clogged by 6:30am.
Is there really layoffs or bjg changes happening?
Don’t care using my company phone to post. Just want to know
Expecting more big news soon!! Have a good day ya’ll!
Not gonna lie. I already have one of those Mueller presidents award ties. I’d love a pair of gold plunger cuff links for the collection. Going to keep sticking my nose where the sun don’t shine!
So let me get this write. Me and the guys is at the job site hear in WV reading this hear post. Using our GED math skills we is figuring out that our big boss gets a double size paycheck bigger than ours yet has not made our stock more than $6 in years. We is guessing he took them people salary that he laid off and pocketed their paychecks. We just figured out he are smarter than all of us with that their decision. If us fellas get to laid off we know our paychecks go to his check. Golly gee whiz!!
Why yes yes he is. So GO TEAM SWN!!
With all this deft leadership, feels like a round of layoffs is needed to ease the competition down the porcelain throne!
For the number 5 that guy who couldn't make it... didn't he get kicked out of the last company he was at by his investors because he was such a loser? Now he is our winner! GO TEAM SWN!
Sorry for the delay folks this story is just now breaking!!
As promised here is the BIG NEWS....
For 2019 SWN Presidents Award I (Silly Billy) will have a Gold, Silver, Bronze Plunger Cuff Links Awards for those three individuals who had the greatest PVI for the idea that is a real toilet clogger.
Details are hey we gotta call Silly Billy (Gold) to Roto Rooter (Silver) and Housekeeping (Bronze) to unclog the porcelain throne with such brilliant innovation (fun fact: remember when we overpaid for that consultant to teach us about that and got a PVI of zilch!?)
Some of my examples are:
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Buy an asset just before the market crashes
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Pay someone a million dollar bonus to close on the acquisition
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Overpay for said asset
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Overpay yourself today double what you made a few years ago when you don’t grow or add value to the company
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Bring in the D team (the dude with the sweet specs and mr hey I can’t make it elsewhere CC) for the C-suite. Why not pay those guys a king or Silly Billy type wages if they can’t make it at another upstream E&P
Drum roll please.....So now I nominate myself (your favorite cheesy smiling slick vocabulary using CEO) for the first Gold, Silver, Bronze Plunger Cuff Links Awards.
Hey all for me and none for you till this December! This is leadership folks!!
Your call to action is go forth and make innovation and see if it is a real clogger!!
Rumor has it that there will be a new tradition and ultimate prize package beginning this year at the annual Prez awards. Stay tuned, as “The Mole” will have more at 6!
Big announcement pending!! This is real. Trust me I am SWN
Layoffs are good. Doors and opportunities are in the future.
Don’t be afraid. Cross the “Red Sea”. In the mean time do your best at your job. If you could live indefinitely, do you still want to be at SWN or anywhere for that long?
Also, enjoy your work and have fun.
I just get on and sh-- around and release stress at the board and executives expense.
Layoffs??? What?? When?? Does anyone have something good other than our CEO potty humor? While I appreciate the satire there are dozens of people watching this board everyday for layoff news.
Are there layoffs this week??? Someone told me about it and this site is usually spot on with info!
Here ye here ye here ye!! I King Silly Billy declare as I rise from my throne with golden industrial grade plunger in hand that today is “Team SWN Day”.
Now my subjects go forth and be number one (cause we are ) as I have to use my golden plunger. To embarsssd to ask housekeeping to flush (I mean fix) this one.
Go forth or ye shall be part of the next layoff!
Ok folks! This is something to be proud of! We’re #1 at something! Let’s use this as momentum! Go Team SWN. Say it with me! Go Team SWN! Go Team SWN!!