What: Big Layoff Celebration Announcement
To: All “Current” Employees
When: January 17, 2019
Details: You are cordially invited (if you are not laid off) to attend the 3 year and current year anniversary of “SWN Layoffs”. With the 40 Plus percent reduction and the “mystery” plus percent reduction this January, it is time to celebrate! Join me and the rest of the ELT for a festive lunch in The Market for all “you can eat” organic vegan bacon infused hot dogs and honey glazed sautéed Rocky Mountain oysters.
Pro Tip 1: To avoid the layoff “list”, come watch the ELT compete and win in a hot dog eating contest and see how many Rocky Mountain oysters they can swallow. An added bonus game is a chocolate pudding pie eating contest. We will need to remind them to wipe the chocolate off their noses (cause they seem to forget that).
Pro Tip 2: If you are a rising super star you must join in those games too!