Thread regarding IBM layoffs

IBM patents = toilet paper

Why are they serving coffee? You would think IBM executives would want us to drink the Kool-Aid instead.

IBM will patent any idea, any time, relevant or not, useful or not, just to say they have a lot of patents.

If this were April 1st I’d believe it but seriously what a pile of cow sh1t

Link to patent filing:

http://pdfpiw.uspto.gov/.piw?PageNum=0&docid=10040551&IDKey=61C703B14D4D%0D%0A

(Quoting entire article, as lots of good tidbits within!)

IBM looks for caffeine buzz with coffee delivery drones

Patent filing even shows sensors predicting espresso needs of flagging employees

IBM has spent much of the last decade turning away from its hardware roots towards new, fast-growing technologies like artificial intelligence and cloud computing. A new patent filing suggests the 107-year-old computing stalwart is looking to adapt another tech trend for fun and profit: smart coffee delivery drones.

The August 7 filing with the US Patent Office describes a system wedding currently ubiquitous drones with cameras and biometric sensors that could dispatch caffeine to flagging employees and thirsty café customers even before they ask for it.

The technology, which the filing said could be used in offices to keep employees alert or by coffee shops to increase sales, would use the sensors to scan for people who have asked for a drink, perhaps only by waving or through an app, as well as those who appear to be in a “pre-determined cognitive state” requiring coffee.

The sensors, which could sense pupil dilation and facial expressions, would be supported by data on a potential customer’s sleep quality and meetings schedules to determine their espresso or latte needs. The application makes clear that any personal data collected would be used “according to privacy rules, and/or with the user’s permission”.

The company, whose nickname Big Blue reflected its dominance over the tech world in the era of mainframe computing, was once synonymous with cutting-edge products, having pioneered hard drives, laser eye surgery and bar codes. More recently, its Deep Blue chess-playing computer and Watson system were eye-catching stunts that helped draw attention to the rise of artificial intelligence.

But the company has struggled to keep up with the rush to online services and only returned to revenue growth this year for the first time since 2012. Although its cloud computing revenues have grown, they still only account for around a quarter of its total revenues.

IBM declined to comment on whether the filing was part of its shift to new businesses. But the filing reveals how the company is looking to wed its traditional expertise in hardware with its newer AI focus.

The lead researcher in the coffee drones project, Thomas Erickson, a scientist at IBM Research, has also filed patents for “autonomous mobile beehives” as well as a drone controlled by a prosthetic limb combined with a user’s voice commands.

Since coffee drinking “can be a semi-ritualistic activity”, the drones would watch groups to assess if they might be in need of sustenance, based on factors such as how long the group had been talking and whether the conversation seemed calm or high-pressured.

Plans also include programming drones with the ability to recognise the people in a group who are “popular” or “famous” and deliver their coffees first.

As the drones collect data, they will also be able to learn an individual’s preferences, such as what time someone likes their third flat white, and whether it should come with skimmed milk or soy.

If the thought of boiling liquid travelling above your head, phone and laptop is cause for concern, rest assured: the plans include the drinks being delivered in “leak proof” bags in case of mid-flight accidents.

IBM is one of a series of companies looking to harness the power of drones and smart technology. Earlier this year Vodafone announced it had developed a drone detection system to help protect sensitive locations such as airports and prisons, while Amazon has long harboured plans make deliveries via drone.

Good way to deliver all sorts of things, like sd cards, pink slips, misc small stuff.

Hilarious! Probably soon to be refeerred to as the companys next moonshot. Might even pop up as a strategic imperative. Sad to witness.