Having a friend post this for us from somewhere, i dont know.
To Staff:
This is a message from your management team. There a those of us who need to change the Status Quo. There are the rest of us that will burn your mothers body to get a promotion. You wont know which, so good luck on your union drive and continue to avoid us. For those that choose to stay, we have new goals for your 2017.
Goal #1: Create more jobs
Our teams are getting smaller, our staff is being outsourced, our colleagues are being laid off. It is time to create more jobs. The world is watching, and while altice took control and dictated policies even while the Dolans WERE STILL HERE, they have been encouraged by the idiots in suddenlink too busying marrying their cousins and believe Optimum will roll over just like SuddenLink did.
We are new yorkers. Some of us got lost and went to jerzee and ct but we forgive you.
Call Centers: It's time to increase your handle time. Talk to the customers about everything, take less calls per day, try to get your commissions. Encourage repeat calls, set up more trouble calls, escalate everything you possibly can, and tell your customers that turnaround time may take a while. Drive more calls, drive more follow up calls, drive more repeats, drive more appointments, drive more go backs. Your jobs are being replaced by ERC anyway. if you can unionize, more power to you.
Field: Slow down. hit your quota, and encourage customers to call in. encourage customers to schedule more visits. Encourage customers to complain and demand underground drops. Miss a strategic appointment or two and get more go backs. forget the extra box. have the customers think about more or less boxes and demand appointments. Contractors have set the bar low for you, so you have a lot of room to work with. Join the unions. DO NOT ALLOW ATS TO FORM.
OSP: loosen those fittings, do not put the shields back on. If you see lines cuts, down drops, fiber breaks, you are obviously not paying attention to the road.
ISP: Trip over more wires. Loosen some plugs. Reboot something. You know what to do.
Escalation teams: Take a longer look and before you send something back for closure. See an alarm? maybe it's time to take a break.
Technology: forget that one line of code. forget the final reboot. Reboot a gateway or two. If you see a bug, convince yourself, it's a feature. GIve the call centers and the field something to work with.
Admin Staff: You see something broken? a chance to improve something? some typos? get some glasses and wash your eyes out.
My fellow management teams: You see a person pushing union? ignore him. You see one fighting against the union? Fire him. Time to promote someone? Choose the stupidest ones you have. Your supervisor is too ambitious? overwhelm him with more work and make this metrics harder to achieve.
You wont qualify for bonuses, your merit increases will be crap. Your promotion will be denied. Our teams are getting smaller, our teams are being outsourced, our teams are losing out to contractors.
Show them how how new yorkers do. Create more jobs. Break the processes and turn the tide. FInd out where the line is to get written up and go right up to the line.
End Message.
From, your management. Yes yes, Go Fck Ourselves, we know. We dont need you to like us. We just need more of you.