Thread regarding Intel Corp. layoffs

Intel making an IOT based condom would be disastrous

As everything else Intel does,

It would be always late to get it up...

And always be late to pull out in time...

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| 1720 views | | 16 replies (last May 21, 2016) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+HtpKFO8

16 replies (most recent on top)

When what you make is a condom, somebody bound to get f'cked! :)

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Post ID: @2vlr+HtpKFO8

will they be LTE enabed?

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Post ID: @2pnx+HtpKFO8

let stay focus guys!!! we need to make sure the smart condom hits the 10nm.. ur as$ is on the line.. BUMMM, BUM BUM BUM BUUUUM!

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Post ID: @1sel+HtpKFO8

@1dcl: lol, too funny!

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Post ID: @1uzm+HtpKFO8

It would be an outstanding condom for sodomy. This would be assured by the extensive internal validation plan.

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Post ID: @1jfi+HtpKFO8

Marketing is working on Functional Units FU 2.0. They will come in 3 skews. Itsy sized package (ISP), Enhanced Rib Package (ERP) and Volume sized package (VSP). With FU 2.0 you will be able to upload all your sensor data to the cloud through an edge multi port gateway for additional machine learning. Marketing believes there is lots of money to be made with FU 2.0 as a service. The IOTG SW team is virtualizing the FU 2.0 for wider market penetration.

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Post ID: @1dcl+HtpKFO8

It would be constructed from double-sided sandpaper and would only work with 14nm "features."

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Post ID: @1qsx+HtpKFO8

IOTG needs more interns. The 168 hour burn in time is killing off all the older white male Q&R employees.

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Post ID: @1rwq+HtpKFO8

All condoms will be connected. They come with an phone App that records sensor readings of vibration, temperature, volume, and humidity. They can alert you to pending failures before they occur. They come with long life and extended temp. The validation team is having a fun time on this project. However they are having trouble reaching the maximum temperatures and volume targets. Need better test beds.

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Post ID: @1sdg+HtpKFO8

And the Indian sw team would use a nibble for the thrust counter.

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Post ID: @1wdm+HtpKFO8

Or great place to get fxcked! Like 12,000 this year and XX,XXX next year (at least 10k).

The IOT condom would be sold inside Intel as a $1B oppty with 60% margins and then the actual results: $0 revenue and huge spending with "we're only 1 generation behind Trojan because we don't have 'ribbed' feature that consumers demand". 7 years later after losing ~$20B Intel would give up... but promise to be back once they make a perfect condom with 'ultra-ribbed'.

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Post ID: @1lgz+HtpKFO8

Intel condoms ad will be: "Look what's inside: It's thick Cum" or GPTF (great place to fk)

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Post ID: @1iux+HtpKFO8

Wonder if it will come with a fan to drive off the excess heat?

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Post ID: @1dcd+HtpKFO8

:)

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Post ID: @1gzm+HtpKFO8

These days Intel would phuck up a wet-dream if they had to depend on it.

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Post ID: @bjp+HtpKFO8

It's Intel inside!

You're sure to get fu*ked!

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Post ID: @yjt+HtpKFO8

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