I can understand completely why people are not forthcoming when they give notice at work.
It’s so much easier to say “I just need a change, but it’s been great working here!” than it is to say “I never got over the fact that you cancelled my family vacation last year over that stupid last-minute project that you made me miss my vacation to complete and then never even thanked me for.”
It’s much easier to tell a white lie to keep the peace and in case you and your soon-to-be-ex-boss ever cross paths again.
I don’t blame people for telling white lies like that, but it’s a shame that managers don’t realize how their slights and insults add up. When people quit their jobs, it’s almost always because the irritations they experience at work become too much to handle. They get sick of being overlooked, disregarded and disrespected – and who can blame them?
Managers aren’t always aware of how harshly their words land, or how their lack of concern over a team member’s personal obligations feels like a slap in the face. Why should people work hard for you when you don’t show them the courtesy of valuing their time, understanding that they have lives outside of work, or showing your appreciation for their hard work?
If your boss doesn’t value you, you are wasting your time and energy working for him or her. If your manager doesn’t give you the respect that every working person deserves, it doesn’t matter how well you are paid or how cushy your benefits are. You deserve better!
Here are five signs your manager doesn’t respect you.
Your boss doesn’t value your time
The first time your manager walks up to your desk at 4:45 in the afternoon and gives you an urgent, 90-minute assignment that has to be completed that day, you might just do what you’re told rather than look like you’re less than a team player. By the third or fourth or seventeenth time, you’re likely to start updating your resume, and that’s a good idea.
Your boss doesn’t keep you in the loop
Patricia, a Marketing manager with a focus on marketing events, worked for three months on an event calendar for her company, checking in with her boss Amy multiple times to get her feedback. When the calendar was ready to publish, Patricia stopped by Amy’s office for a final review.
“Wait, didn’t I tell you that we’re going with an outside event-management company?” said Amy.
“They’re going to handle our events, instead of you.”
“No, you didn’t mention that,” said Patricia icily. “When did you make that decision?”
“Umm, a few weeks ago,” said Amy. “I thought I told you.”
“What will my job be, in that case?” asked Patricia.
“You’re going to be our liaison with the events-marketing company,” said Amy. Patricia bit her lip, started a job search and was out from under Amy two months later.
Your boss talks to other people about you and/or your work
When your manager respects you, he or she will let you know directly if there are concerns about your work. A poor manager will tell other people instead of telling you. Your friends at work will ask you “What did you do to tick off the boss? He was talking about you missing a deadline last week, and he didn’t sound too happy.” You don’t have time to work for somebody who badmouths you in front of other people and smiles in your face. You deserve better!
Your boss doesn’t care about your workload
Most of us don’t want to complain about our workloads so we do the best we can, take work home and find quicker ways to get things done. What if you do tell your boss you’re overloaded and he or she shrugs it off? That happened to Nick, a software designer. “My workload for the next two months equals six man-months of coding,” said Nick to his boss Avi. “Take a look at the schedule.” “You’re just going to have to figure it out,” said Avi, nonsensically.
“I have figured it out,” Nick. “We can get some contract help or push back the schedule.” Avi glared at Nick and said “You’re supposed to be able to overcome obstacles like this.” Nick went over Avi’s head to the VP of Engineering and got the schedule changed. A month later Avi left the company ‘for personal reasons’ and Nick and his colleagues breathed a sigh of relief.
Your boss doesn’t appreciate your extra effort
It’s great to be so into your job that you give it extra effort, but not when your manager is oblivious and takes your passion for granted. After you’ve worked all weekend or stayed late all week once or twice only to have your time and energy ignored, you’ll wise up and pull back on the reins. The next time your unappreciative boss says “Say, can you help me out with an urgent project?” you’ll say “I’d love to, but I have to leave here at 5:15 tonight — I’ll do it tomorrow.”
We all need to set boundaries. That’s a critical life and professional skill we all need to cultivate. If your boss doesn’t respect you, he or she is not someone who can help you grow your flame, and life is too short to work as hard as you do in exchange for just a paycheck and nothing more. There are other managers, inside your organization or outside of it, who will get you and appreciate your talents and commitment. They are the people who deserve you!