So, I was cleaning out my email today, and came across a particular email that a former engineer sent out to everybody at Denbury. At the time, I was new to Denbury and didn't know much about company politics, and how sick and twisted this dysfunctional company operates. I found the email quite amusing so I decided not to delete it. I brushed it off at that time, but I look back regretfully and wish I would have taken note of the conversation between the engineer and Bob Schellhorn (Manager). Below is a copy of that email:
Friends:
I do not know where to start and what to write but I will attempt to put everything into one email.
I am sure that many of you already know that tomorrow is my last day at Denbury Resources. I decided to take some time off before I commence the next chapter of my life. Though it is really hard to say good-bye to you all having considered this place my second home in the last 5 years. I reflected through my service at Denbury and it dawned on me that I have made many friends across the company, virtually in every segment / department of the organization (North, West and East Regions, Accounting, Auditing, CO2 Supply & Pipelines, Corporate Services, Drilling, Field Operations, GIS, HSE, HR, Information Services, Legal and Land, Planning, Project and Facilities, Regulatory and Reservoir Technologies group).
In all, I am grateful to God and you but please, still permit me to use this medium to express my profound gratitude to you all for your love, kindness, mentorship, tutoring and assistance in diverse ways. You have been a blessing to me and made my career at Denbury a worthwhile experience. In short, I cannot thank you enough. I will strive to utilize all that I have learned in the next phase of my life.
In response to the question and ponderings on your minds as to why I am leaving, I waited earnestly for the boat to arrive for a couple of years but lost patience and decided to go with the bus instead. Needless to say is that there are 3 main reasons that got me to this point.
The primary reason is this: I am sure you will all agree with me that the food served at the cafeteria these days no longer taste good enough and to add insult upon injury, the portion is too small for a guy like me. Therefore, I have accepted the position of a Chief Chef in a local restaurant here where I can showcase what I can offer and hopefully one day get to prove my worth to Denbury should the opportunity arise.
The secondary reason is this: This year will be the third time I will recommend to management that the company’s headquarter should be moved to Mauna or Roatan, or at least their choice in Florida. They have rejected my advice without any explanation. So, I got fed up and frustrated!
The tertiary reason (of course, there has to be one since we are a CO2 company) is this: I had a conversation with a management staff (Bob Schellhorn) recently and I thought I should share an excerpt of what ensued between us…..
Me: Sir, why did I not make the cut as one of the supervisors or managers during the last re-org considering the fact that I have not been promoted for the past 5 years, despite my diverse background and 15 years’ experience in oil and gas industry, with experience in 3 CO2 floods in Denbury, and 2 other fields within my 5 year tenure at Denbury?
Management Staff, MS: The reason is very simple. You do not have the right hump and limbs.
Me: I do not understand, please explain what you mean by hump and limbs?
MS: Son, they mean likeability and lickbuttability. You lack both abilities.
Me: But, but…. I thought I am likeable. I have got the looks and work really hard despite my long commute to work every day.
MS: D***, see… you just don’t get it. Yes, your look is OK but that will only get you in and it did just that. To move on, those 2 are absolutes, you got to have them!
Me: Ok, I get the likeability part. I will go and work on that but what does the other one mean and how can I get that?
MS: Go figure!
Therefore, after many days of soul searching and multiple reflections, I figured out that I have focused too much on what really did not matter in the last 5 years! Now, I am sure you will agree with me that I made the right decision to leave the company having realized this truth at the tail end of my career. But, just before I leave, in fulfillment of my promise and in appreciation of the leadership of the West Region for their guidance and support, I am donating all my vested SARs to them. I hope this will go a long way to purchase the adequate CO2 in Delhi field for continuous flooding so that we will not have to worry about our IWR not equal to 1 despite our losses to the aquifer. I am grateful to them for without them, I would not have been encouraged to pursue my dream and passion. Moreover, I will like to contribute my own quota towards the $100 million challenge by donating all my unvested RS and SARs. I am certain this will put an enormous dent on the challenge and go a long way in reaching the goal. I encourage you to follow suit. We have 8 months to go and this goal MUST be realized. I would like to do more but time and limited resources will not permit me.
Last but not the least, my only 2 regrets in Denbury are (1): I was deprived of the opportunity of making it to the “hall of shame” by not given me the honor to be escorted out by security officers after I tendered my resignation letter. Oh, what a privilege it would have been! Secondly, I could not get rid of my parrot and the team would not allow me to give to Bob Schellhorn because his personality did not match!
Once again, it has been a great pleasure working here with all of you. I will surely miss you all. I hope I have brightened your day a little bit today...Delhi team, you are the best!
Oh, how I wish I knew then what I know now. It is amazing that so many talented and seasoned veterans of previous O&G downturns have been let go. While worthless obnoxious brown-nosers who contribute absolutely nothing to Denbury remain being a manager. A good example: Bob Schellhorn. Keep doing what you are doing, because it is obviously working out great for you, at least in the short term.