No, I am the Original Poster. So THIS is going to happen. Receipts in the Cafeteria will be printed on luncheon meat. Dress code will be changed to require hats and cat t-shirts, year round. Also, stilts are banned, but only in TLM and FSY. Shifts will now be staggered and include overnight teams (AMN and DRK level only) to keep Bangalore awake. KNBs on the Overnight Rescue Relay Program (ORPP) will be required to play Words With Friends (WWF) with Bangalore team members, all night. Games must be played in Sanskrit and Urdu, so only polyglot insomniacs will be kept on. Slippers may be worn by PG21 and above, but only on carpeted surfaces; hard surfaces require suction cup socks, which will be provided in hardship cases. SMH, DFP, and FGE-compliant teams will now fall under the WDF umbrella, but they will get back up, and dry themselves off. In stores, giftwrap will be moving to automotive, and automotive will be replaced by a gallery of tiny historical recreations made entirely of cheese toast. Finally, directors with fewer than eleven team members will be required to vacation in Canada during winter, to offset losses by MMW for Canada closing. All team member will take supplements, and they will be chewable, but brittle and very salty. Anyone who cannot take supplements for medical reasons will be exalted, and carried on the shoulders of SNT, MHI, and RRMP team members. JUST WATCH, I'VE BEEN RIGHT ABOUT EVERTIBG ELSE SO FAR. Except the lunar calendar pajamas, but that was wishful thinking.
20 replies (most recent on top)
CURTAINS AND BLINDS
80261: lol!!! yes you get to keep the white boxes...i colored on mine with markers to make it into a fancy 4 poster bed with curtains on the sides for my cat....or at least the cat i will get someday... i will name him cooky or donna, haven't decided for sure yet...anybody no any good cat names?? nyhow you can keep youre box...so that's good...i imagine you could use it to hold books or cans of food or a lot of things lol...best of luck...chin up...also it flattens out if you don't have much room in your house or things to put in it right away...just saying lol
If this is true, God help you. I wore suction cup socks at Best Buy- my whole team did, and we all had repetitive stress ankle injuries. I will pray for your lower leg areas. WHEN WILL THEY LEARN THAT ADHESIVE FOOTWEAR ULTIMATELY NEVER INCREASES PRODUCTIVITY? It's like they just jump on every sticky bandwagon, regardless of SAFETY and WORK LIFE BALANCE. They just hear STICKY and POOF goes reason out the window. You all have my sympathy. God bless.
I've heard that all new hires will be 3D-printed. Anybody else heard this?
HOW DOES THIS AFFECT PDD?
Brilliant! This is exactly what our Colorado-based consultants told us we should be doing. I can't wait to announce this at the FNM, using the power of interpretive dance... Gregg, bring my my mankini!
OPIE (VDERRP) - Excellent creative job! I would like to offer you an admin position on this board. Are you up for it.
Does anybody know if we have to return the white boxes, or do we get to keep those. I'll take my answer off the air.
“The mind can go either direction under stress—toward positive or toward negative: on or off. Think of it as a spectrum whose extremes are unconsciousness at the negative end and hyperconsciousness at the positive end. The way the mind will lean under stress is strongly influenced by training."
Anyone heard anything about PDD?
Please stay off that stuff.
Someone actually found this funny?
HOW ABOUT PDD?
Post-apocalyptic Target's layoffs = Orson Welles 1984. Jump ship immediately!
80175, I understand you. I hope someday we meet. Fondly, 80175.
Some of our tables are entirely too high.
Many of our chairs are too low to the ground.
You're a great writer! Hopefully Target kept you!
Know anything about PDD?
Agree.