Thread regarding Target Corp. layoffs

What we have learned in the last few weeks...

1) MP BAs are useless and should all be fired; they will be replaced soon by BA-BOT soon enough anyway.

2) All of TSS can be cut with no impact to Target; they spend all their time rubbing elbows in first class charter flights to exotic locales.

3) Merchandising as a whole (Buyers, MerchOps, MP Ops) can and will be eliminated -- the only impact being to Starbucks.

4) TTS will be replaced by the very code they helped to write, having become autonomous thanks to a spell cast by Brian C.

5) All the other areas (Store Ops, Distribution, Marketing) will be cut... no one really knows what they do anyway.

This will leave us with a small group of employees - mostly robots - to lead Target to a glorious future. I for one am grateful to give way to this vision.

by
| 581 views | | 6 replies (last March 8, 2015) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+AoeWqLN

6 replies (most recent on top)

In tts, for every new tech hire, they are working to cut one or two others. Want to gain 30% efficiecy within 2 years.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1Ywa+AoeWqLN

TTS is in the process of re-making itself as a competent technical partner. They are the exception right now with respect to actively recruiting engineers while there is a freeze in most areas. The PMs/BAs are probably most affected since there is less of a need for them with Agile/SCRUM.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1x4G+AoeWqLN

TTS is going through a mass hiring, no? At least, in-sourcing to Minneapolis from India. I thought that was in the news article

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @1kcU+AoeWqLN

Also, old people REALLY hate the great hall, half of all HQ employees can't spell worth a damn, and a small subset are into funeral armbands.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @12b6+AoeWqLN

Thankfully I have spent the last 6 months designing a robot suit to wear to work. I'm hoping it will trick HR for long enough for me to become accepted into their mechanical ranks.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @UnQ+AoeWqLN

I for one welcome our new robot overlords.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @inJ+AoeWqLN

Post a reply

: