Management consultant: Abby, our pulse scores are the worst in 30 years. Associates feel bad, clearly.
Abby: What is to be done? I have already ordered them back to office 50%.
Management consultant: I shake in awe of thy wisdom. I too am surprised that greater time in our beautiful buildings aid not reflected in these figures.
Abby: But what is to be done about it!??
Consultant: Have you tried reducing the amount of snacks? If people spend more time at table rather than walking for snacks they may have less time to think negatively for the pulse survey.
Abby: Already tried that!
Consultant: Damn, you good.
Ok then. Have you considered abolishing your straightforward and usable fitness reimbursement program in order to adopt a convoluted, multi-tier subscription program that seems designed to geographically exclude most people?
Abby: That will save me a full 30 minutes
of work a year. Love it!!! Award this man 6000 chairman shares.