Thread regarding Chevron Corp. layoffs

Best Comment Ever on this Website

In today's whirlwind of corporate buzzwords, layoffs and offshoring are the ultimate power moves for any company looking to "optimize" its workforce. By "right-sizing" (a.k.a. downsizing) our team and "leveraging global talent" (a.k.a. outsourcing to cheaper labor markets), we can "streamline operations" (a.k.a. cut costs) and "enhance shareholder value" (a.k.a. make the rich richer). This brilliant strategy not only "drives scalability" (a.k.a. makes us look good on paper) but also "fosters innovation" (a.k.a. forces remaining employees to do more with less). In the end, these measures are "pivotal for sustaining long-term growth" (a.k.a. surviving the next quarter) and "ensuring market leadership" (a.k.a. staying afloat) in our ever-globalizing economy.

And let's not forget the holy trinity of modern business jargon: digital transformation, agile, and the cloud. By embarking on a "digital transformation journey" (a.k.a. buying the latest tech toys), we can "unlock new efficiencies" (a.k.a. confuse everyone with new software). Embracing "agile methodologies" (a.k.a. having more meetings) allows us to "pivot quickly" (a.k.a. change our minds constantly) and "deliver value faster" (a.k.a. rush projects). Meanwhile, migrating to "the cloud" (a.k.a. someone else's computer) ensures our data is "secure and scalable" (a.k.a. out of our hands). Together, these initiatives will "revolutionize our operations" (a.k.a. keep us busy) and "drive digital innovation" (a.k.a. make us sound cutting-edge).

And what could be more brilliant than hiring an external CIO to steer the ship in a declining industry? Bringing in a "fresh perspective" (a.k.a. someone who has no idea about our business) is sure to "drive innovation" (a.k.a. implement changes no one asked for). This "strategic hire" (a.k.a. expensive mistake) will "leverage their expertise" (a.k.a. recycle buzzwords) to "transform our operations" (a.k.a. disrupt everything). Of course, their "proven track record" (a.k.a. fancy resume) will help us "navigate challenges" (a.k.a. sink faster) and "achieve our goals" (a.k.a. survive a bit longer). Cheers to the new era of leadership! 🥂

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| 4591 views | | 27 replies (last September 5, 2024) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1ufJkQEU

27 replies (most recent on top)

💯🅰️➕

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Post ID: @7aiz+1ufJkQEU

Truth has brought out the down vote brown nose brigade.
Wait till you get the message that for all your askising you are surplus to requirements in the new organisation

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Post ID: @6sas+1ufJkQEU

Describes Chevron perfectly 👌.
A total disgrace, so glad I left the company once great ha become a total buzz word factory.

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Post ID: @5taf+1ufJkQEU

┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

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Post ID: @4zfb+1ufJkQEU

Yeah, this post is not very popular to those who read it though, apparently. It also looks like the same people are making the same responses, including the OP, commenting on how great his own post is. Perhaps it's only one person doing it all, who knows.

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Post ID: @4kuw+1ufJkQEU

Wow go away a week just to see this awesome post downvoted so much, and by whom? The OP speaks the truth people, as sad yet funny as it is. I really used to enjoy this company and the work I did, but the work that is 'prioritized' now and talked about in the meetings has me wondering why my job and those of my closest peers even exists. I think I'd feel more successful loading groceries in someone's car. With the offshoring it may just be my future.

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Post ID: @4rmn+1ufJkQEU

Bump. This post needs to be immortalized - like the WxxonMobil Singapore post with 400,000 views

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Post ID: @4jya+1ufJkQEU

lol someone really dislikes this post.

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Post ID: @4nhf+1ufJkQEU

👆Bump👆

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Post ID: @3vls+1ufJkQEU

Well HR certainly hates this post

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Post ID: @3uth+1ufJkQEU

Lol. You might feel this way until they lay you off or outsource you.

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Post ID: @2cnx+1ufJkQEU

Boot locker is worse than a boot li---r.

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Post ID: @1ldb+1ufJkQEU

A lot of people are upset about the large majority of people who downvoted this. Why would anyone care to post so much about it unless they are extremely triggered by that. What is a boot locker? Something you keep boots in?

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Post ID: @1vfg+1ufJkQEU

So in cost cutting mode why do we need 2 CIOs on payroll when new guy is calling his shots already. They both traveled to Manila and other regions together .

Low cost geography folks apparently put a good show on how they can absorb more US jobs and deliver at “scale”

If your job somehow manages to be ok in 2025 event, don’t worry it won’t be in 2026+ events.

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Post ID: @1kvy+1ufJkQEU

Brings me joy the amount of down votes this has when all the boot lockers get a taste outside their own echo chambers.

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Post ID: @1uev+1ufJkQEU

I wanna know who is down voting OP. Do we have some FLT spies here who don’t like the truth.

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Post ID: @1pyk+1ufJkQEU

oh OP poster - you have hit the nail on the head - the problem is that many other companies have been doing this for years and are now recognizing their failure. It will take Chevron a couple years to accomplish this and then more to realize their failure - or recognize they can't understand those who run their "helplines". Good luck - and it did irritate people as you can see by the down votes - but realize the "truth" hurts.

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Post ID: @1dto+1ufJkQEU

The number of down votes reflects how mad the post made one pro-chevron troll: It provides no indication of the opinion of the number a independent users that agree/disagree.

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Post ID: @1pqs+1ufJkQEU

This is quite comical actually…in all the years I’ve followed this site has there ever been a post with a higher number of down votes?

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Post ID: @1fqc+1ufJkQEU

I feel morally obligated to add a random comment to this post just to ensure it stays at the top of the ‘“active” list.

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Post ID: @1ydl+1ufJkQEU

Lol, who is obsessed with downvoting this? LC, get to work, buddy.

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Post ID: @1ipq+1ufJkQEU

Accurate, witty, and intelligent translation! Thank you for making us laugh and smile today! Substantiation attained - distribute in a GLF leader guide, and post in the Content Hub!

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Post ID: @1eyy+1ufJkQEU

Amen!!!!

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Post ID: @xem+1ufJkQEU

Originally posted under the thread "We finally hire an external leader… and he’s terrible"

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Post ID: @hyt+1ufJkQEU

The agile people and all the IT “program managers” who just want to have meetings to talk about thinking about doing work instead of actually doing work.

This is how we are training the next generation of leaders who cannot be employed anywhere else because they don’t know how to do anything besides spouting off corporate jargon.

Good luck to IT being run by these useless program managers who will not be coordinating work with the Philippines, Argentina, and India.

I don’t know how many meetings I’ve been in with these BU and platform program managers, just pointing fingers at one another but cannot collectively get anything done.

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Post ID: @jee+1ufJkQEU

Well said

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Post ID: @blt+1ufJkQEU

This is brilliant 👏 👌 🙌

Chevron described to perfection.

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Post ID: @crh+1ufJkQEU

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