Regarding the 2025 policy changes requiring hourly employees to clock in and out for the allotted 30 minute lunch break, I'd like to remind you that we have crossed the rubicon and will no longer idly stand by while reprobate hourlies overstay their lunch breaks, as this severely impacts productivity!
Pursuant to this policy, I along with my royal retinue, understand that existing resentments towards my regime and the brand are likely to tic northwards. Alas, we must be unburdened by what has been. I tell you honestly, we can scarcely imagine the many little ways lowly hourly employees might dream up to soothe their poor hatred filled hearts through petty vengeances against the brand as they continue to witness managers and our esteemed salaried employees customarily extending their leisurely lunch breaks beyond an hour, without repercussion. Tsk tsk...
Still, we felt we must act. After all, may I remind you of its beneficence, as it merely serves to assist the degenerate hourlies by establishing clear work/life boundaries! By the way, have I mentioned how we owe our success to YOUR continued devotion? On behalf of your humble King and my noble court of SLT, and from the bottom of our pocketbooks, we thank you! Keep delivering
the finest
aviation
experience!