Been with Citi for over a year and I did well my first year, but I’ve been spending this month weighing why I could be on the layoff list vs why I won’t be. To add more stress, I am the sole provider in my family of four.
I am in a central hub (NYC) though it is expensive. Then again, I’m low on the range of my VP salary. I’m also a hybrid worker so not remote like many on my team.
My job is half controls, half operations. My job needs to exist in the chain otherwise it will mess up monthly deliverables. My job acts as a control but I’m not in an embedded control team that is only busy when things go awry.
I have a lot of downtime some days, but when I’m busy, I’m really busy. If I was to be let go, back up coverage would be difficult and my duties would be spread to numerous people. But are those times of down time enough to justify getting rid of me?
My team has years of experience over me but getting rid of me means they’ll save a bit more on severance.
I’ve tried to read between the lines things my manager says but truthfully I think she has minimal knowledge too and may be as nervous as I am. I feel I’m still over analyzing everything she says.
The sad thing, I kind of like my job here. I had a good first year but still feel I need to learn more to get more out of it so it would be a shame to lose that opportunity if something were to happen to me.
Not looking to spread more fear but just wanted to vent.