Thread regarding Cisco Systems Inc. layoffs

Here's how you can get out of being an LR candidate.

Here's how you can get out of being an LR candidate.

  1. Put on some weight.
  2. Go on blood pressure medicine.
  3. Get your blood pressure under control.
  4. When you get PIP'd go off the blood pressure medicine.
  5. Go to the doctor and show them your blood pressure, get it documented.
  6. Tell Doctor that work LR is making you anxious.
  7. Have Doctor document the issue.
  8. Tell your manager you need to take a few days off with LR going on due to stress.
  9. Open a case with HR and document that your anxiety and absence is due to LR and document with DR note.
  10. Eat more pizza, drink more beer.
  11. Wait for next layoff.

Did this four years ago, and NEVER have been layed off.

by
| 2280 views | | 14 replies (last February 14, 2024) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1r4Pncb3

14 replies (most recent on top)

The LR has nothing to do with performance and less about the profit of your business function as one would think. Lower performers or folks on a PIP are safer to avoid a legal issue. It is more about the number of stock options you have, your compensation, your age, and your grade level. Fortunately race and gender doesn't seem to make a difference these days. Nevertheless, age and holdings does. Older folks at a higher grade and larger amounts of stock options are more likely to get hit as legal has figured out loopholes around this. No early retirement is provided since profit is more important than employees. It is sad how Cisco constantly says one thing, and does another.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @ele+1r4Pncb3

Amazing
Thanks to that one valuable guy is selected to leave the company instead of a cheater not taking seriously a piece of ethics
You should review what is good for you and your live in the long run expecting to live and work in other places.
And by the way, this sounds bullsh-t to me

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @dhl+1r4Pncb3

How to not get LR’ed - do your job, well.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @edl+1r4Pncb3

actually, you'd have a better chance coming out and claiming you are now "trans". There are some folks faking in Cisco now for promotions.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @hmw+1r4Pncb3

The honest truth is most at Cisco have high BP. Especially now during LR season.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @pxu+1r4Pncb3

It's just all game

Just figure out the best way to play it

They want to run things like cr-p

Well let's see who can skate the best

Slacking and loving it

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @rit+1r4Pncb3

Cisco will LR you even you're in a comma and life support. The HR girl will just attach the LR script to your hospital bed.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @suv+1r4Pncb3

laid it all on my manager causing undo stress with quiet firing behavior; copious notes and medical documentation, but eventually they’ll get me but until then…

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @wgr+1r4Pncb3

They are certainly not afraid to call you on vacation! How thoughtful.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @xpo+1r4Pncb3

Hard pass. I’d rather get a package. You be you boo.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @cwq+1r4Pncb3

nonsense, they'll still lay you off, even on sick leave.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @lvn+1r4Pncb3

Best shitpost so far

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @dol+1r4Pncb3

I suggest you go collect from government welfare or get in an electrocuted chair. Nobody owes anyone anything. Cisco certainly does not owe anyone anything.

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @pie+1r4Pncb3

get out of being an LR and lose your life

by
| | Reply
Post ID: @dhr+1r4Pncb3

Post a reply

: