Thread regarding DXC Technology layoffs

Please can you help for the Earnings call

Please can you come up with some excuses to help Mike with the usual revenue drop on tomorrow's earning call.

The technology peanut butter stack has gone sour.
Myself and Mary have been busy all the time.
The $ has moved in the currency market.
It's not as cold as we expected.
The Ai market has cooled off.
We have just signed a big deal but its going into the next quarter.
The share buyback has failed.
We are still on the cuts trajectory, we will pivot to growth next year, next year, or next year.
My 2nd rater managers are milking the Company handsomely but are incapable to grow it.
The staff are fed up of me, Mary and the gang.
The customers realize I'm screwing over the employees for my gain.

Please add more or email them to Mike.

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| 1571 views | | 7 replies (last November 1, 2023) | Reply
Post ID: @OP+1pmw64qG

7 replies (most recent on top)

and the results and excuses have arrived ... another bad quarter, GBS flat-lining and GIS continues to shrink rapidly, led (weighed down) by the perennial boat anchors of Cloud Infrastructure & ITO and "Modern" Workplace. On track to shrink by $1B for the full year.
Of most concern is the book-to-bill which is shrinking very quickly, down to just 0.76 for GBS and 0.87 for GIS
But don't worry Mikey2 has said "... Adding three impactful new senior leaders over the past five months to an already talented team will allow us to more effectively deliver for our customers and on our goal to consistently grow revenue..." which if generated from ChatGPT we'd have called a hallucination.

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Post ID: @1owc+1pmw64qG

We spent all the profits made this year giving you all a new job title. Be thankful management - weren't going to give you anything but HR said staff won't stay and certainly won't put any effort in if they don't feel valued. So this was our brilliant plan.

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Post ID: @1owl+1pmw64qG

VR email was sent out earlier (UK)
Reminded me of when I worked for HP/HPE

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Post ID: @1kwj+1pmw64qG

New cloud leaders will rake in revenue. Job architecture simplification. Tech debt consulting opportunities. Employee mental health and wellness improvements. Will throw a lot of curve ba--s into the analyst crowd when they ask questions. That BMO analyst may be a little pain in the back, but will ask his boss to wfr him.

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Post ID: @1fun+1pmw64qG

Hey Su-kers

I'm just going to pull a few usual reasons out of the hat and none of you will be able to do anything. What is it now 19 quarters of my bull and you still haven't worked out Jam tommorow strategy, r that since I've taken over no major contracts have been won. it's another $5 million banked for me.

Might do a reshuffle to change to put colour on the figures, get rid of Sealamb, and Arseuse mettal, and a couple of others, freshen it up a bit.

Them stupid an-l list can't even calculate that the share price has tanked 50% down under my leadership. They can ask those silly questions I'm just going to give them usual fluffy answers and hey will say thanks Mike.

Theres nothing they can do to me or My Mary we are invincible. Keep working hard I want your pay.

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Post ID: @sse+1pmw64qG

planned increase in revenue next year to $10B, share price $15 - all powered by Platform-X and its magical scripts - pivot to growth fully on target, market cap of $3B after a further $4B share buyback and 15K job cuts

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Post ID: @sgp+1pmw64qG

The dog eat my revenue

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Post ID: @fur+1pmw64qG

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