So, it's been a couple years since the actual merger of humans in Digital. I went through a lot of emotions as it played its course. I spent a long time angry and resentful. But, now, I just feel sorry for people.
When we first started putting people together back in 2021, I was worried for the Sprint folks coming into our org. My understanding was that the Sprint culture pre-merger was really bad. Everyone was, essentially, accustomed to fear of layoffs. I was, however, partially excited to bring some new folks into our org and expose them to an electric culture of inclusiveness and passion. Onboard them onto the TMO version of stuff and indoctrinate them with our culture.
But it didn't take long to see what it really was. A takeover by Sprint. Sprint simply had more FTEs in Digital Eng. Which, I suppose, says a lot. Their managers were clearly politicians. From the very first meeting I had I could smell the beige corporatism. It did not seem like there was even a desire for anyone to consider that it just might be better on the Magenta side. Years of apathy had apparently beaten the passion out of anyone I talked to.
I went through my stages of anger and resentment and then ultimately left in 2022. Most of the high caliber TMO FTEs resigned really early (even before Marcus East started manspreading with his nonsense nepotism and exclusive fa-t-smelling gang). I was probably one of the last of the core heavyweights to leave beyond the handful that stuck around to see if they could ride it out.
For me, it was a combination of things. I had become so angry that I started behaving like a child. Snapping at people on calls. Transparently resentful in every conversation I had. I watched the culture I loved get demolished and I just wanted to lash out at everyone. I originally equated it to getting a form of cultural cancer. It became really unhealthy for me and I spent a very long time being very angry about it before finally leaving. I wanted to blame everyone. How could you not see that it's clearly awesome here? How can you possibly come into our world and stomp around all judgmental and casting aspersions and hot takes in our first meeting? Who do you think you are?! I was furious at the audacity and the sheer arrogance.
But I look at it now and I just feel sad. I wish the Sprint folks could understand what it was like pre-merger for TMO folks. I use the word "electric" a lot. I'm not even sure that does it justice. Most of us weren't just ape'ing leaderships sermons for show, we really truly loved working there. We worked extra hours because we wanted to. Because we cared. We loved the people we worked with. Our management gave us a lot of latitude and trusted us. They empowered us, encouraged us. We had ownership. Our culture was incredible. It was an amazing place to work.
I'm sorry you never got to experience that. I'm sorry that your world has always been hum-drum beige corporatocracy. I'm sorry that you have been reduced to soulless process jockeys by a group of unqualified politicians. The grass really was greener, I'm sorry you never got a chance to see that.
I came back just to peek my head in the door and it's as bad as it ever was even with Marcus gone. It's just sad. I'm gonna take some money while I can and try and crack jokes in meetings, but it really is just a miserable place and the only people left are unqualified managers and engineers that have clearly just given up.
Apathy reigns.