There you go, criticizing, condemning and deflecting. Self evaluation never works. You need help & I hope you get it before you harm yourself & others, even more.
It’s obvious you are not ready. Reading about self is never easy and passing it off as a novel, a work of fiction does not change the facts. Some people have to hit bottom before they are ready for help.
The consequences from doing wrong often help. I hope it does for you.
Taking work from employees, lieing, cheating & stealing for promotion, controlling and manipulating others so that you can buy people only works temporarily. Because enough is never enough. .
We have to earn our own way. When things come externally they can only be temporary. When they are earned, they come from self then, it’s more likely to last a lifetime.
Everything is about foundation. A strong solid foundation has to come first. If
build your life, career, friends, etc on quick sand , things that not true and taken from others things will fall. There are always consequences for every action. You have to buiid on solid ground things that are true, earned etc. it’s all about self respect.
Blasting people is a sure sign of unresolved anger which usually comes from not building on a strong foundation. Cutting corners, taking from others, control and manipulation never works. . It’s dangerous. Blessed are those that are pure in mind and spirit.
I hope you get the help that you need.
Blessings.