Cool story, bro
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I heard a strange noise in my basement last night that woke me out of my sleep. As I grabbed a baseball bat and flashlight to go and confront the cause of the noise I thought to myself "This is it. They finally found me and have come to finally lay me off". I steeled myself and slowly crept down the squeaky staircase while shining my light in every direction. A bead of sweat ran down my brow as I nervously shouted out "Show yourself!" into the darkness. The grip on the bat tightened as a creature crawled out to greet me with a meow. It was my cat who had knocked over something while doing its midnight zoomies. I let out a sigh of relief having anticipated someone from P&C waiting for me, or even worse The Dankburg himself. After giving the cat a pet on the head and returning to my bed, I couldn't help shake the fear that I would not be so lucky next time.
FWIW, the last layoff took place on a Monday (March 27th).