Do you believe in Santa? Were you naughty or nice? If you are nice, Santa might give you a gift in lieu of a bonus.
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Every Covault hamr system sold for revenue this fiscal year is a bonus.
More accurately, Dollar Tree gift cards.
bonuses to be paid in gift cards
Cant pay for the outgoing mail, so not much room for bonuses. Will be paying for vending machine coffee soon.
Water hoses will be made available in restrooms at tier 1 sites if there is a toilet paper supply shortage.
You fools - there won’t be bonuses or pay rises. Secretly, RSUs and business travel perks will be given out and remember RSUs vest quarterly now.
I hear there will be flush tokens distributed starting August. You get one flush token per week so use it wisely. They are non transferable.
There is actually a "VP of toilet paper" to approve the requirements, the directors are requesting the data be compiled from the managers below presented in a justification PPT.
VPs and higher can approve purchase of scented toilet paper with lotion embedded.
Sorry guys if you want 2 ply you’re going to have fold it in half. Or sneak into Heavy D’s gold plated water closet for the softest stuff.
and the toilet paper will be narrowed by 1cm too
To improve circularity and cash flow in FY24, toilet paper thickness will be reduced to 1-ply instead of 2-ply.
Yes!! Toilet paper will be fully stocked in all facilities! Enjoy your bonus!
I see we have a comedian posting here.
The completed learning hours is your bonus.
0%
Yes 200%
The ice cream socials are now the only employee recognition events. All day events at the Zoo and Valley Fair were mostly a Shugart thing. Remember him? The last CEO who really gave a cr_p about employees.
More importantly, Will we have a company picnic at Valley Fair this year for the MN employees? To quote Dr. Evil “How about no, you crazy Dutch bas%ard”!
Are you kidding? History shows any little bump in earnings immediately go into dividend increases.
don't count on it
Unlikely. Very very unlikely