I have been asked to “apply” for these new jobs. My position was terminated and I will get the severance if I make it to May 1. But I was “strongly encouraged “ to apply because “this company needs your skills moving forward.” “You are a great asset to the team.” Yeah, then why didn’t you offer me these positions or at least tell me about them before you terminated me? And honestly, the bookstores are a losing business model. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we are bleeding out money and have been for a long time. Not just us, all college bookstores, whether corporate owned or independent. For a couple of days I thought for sure I wanted one of the new jobs. I kept asking myself why. Comfortable where I am? Afraid to look? Afraid to start again at my age? Because I have close bonds with my co-workers? Because I have invested so much time? None of these are good reasons to stay with a dying company, a dying industry. In all probability, if I took one of these new jobs, I would be in the same situation in 2 years or less.
No, I have decided to move on. Yes, I’m scared to death. But I am facing reality. Even if I took a store manager position or even the regional position, it’s not going to be anywhere near the same. Every reason I had is gone. Would I be comfortable? Nope, probably always looking for signs of implosion. My co-workers? Well they are leaving too. Investment of time? Do I really want to invest MORE time knowing what we all know now? Do I expect better treatment if I stay? No.
Everyone has to make these decisions for themselves, but as much as it crushes my heart that this chapter is over, I am going to face my fears and find something else.