I'm a Hi-Po

Executive potential I was told. Early thirties, CL28.

I'm male, white, Texan, meet all the demographic checkboxes.

I sit all day in strategy and planning meetings, always agreeing wh-t the majority, but always sounding articulate and corporate, always very diplomatic, composed, measured, showing no sharp edges in any dimension of my personality.

My mood always matches the mood of the room. My body language always matches the body language of the room.

I always bring a notepad to the meeting with my expensive golden ink pen, and pretend I take notes.

My ranking has always been OWD regardless what I do or say. It's a self fulfilling prophecy: I rank high because I am liked. I am liked because I rank high.

My salary treatment this year was 20% + RSUs.

For us hi-po's, morale is healthy. We support all costs and head count reductions, and we do believe senior management is doing awesome.

Comment! It's anonymous!

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Hipos are almost all diversity appointments these days. Gone is the merit based system we had. That went out the window years ago. HR runs the ranking process and no manager will take a stand.

Remember years ago when the performance feedback asked knowledgeable others for a quantitative ranking? They got rid of that so HR can re-arrange rankings without a paper trail showing otherwise...

HiPos please always treat the rest of us with respect and gratitude for being the basis for the lottery you seem to have won.

@1xtt are they (Hi POS) only just fighting like high school girls or also $krewing the boy friend of the girls they were fighting with?

Man, that brings back some fond memories from my high school days when I got me a lot of stray tail whenever these fights took place, and I was the direct beneficiary of the "residuals!"

Pretty certain that's not happening here where they just end up leaving or staying based on their talent or ability to ki$$ the bosses a$$!

OP great joke. But, on a more serious note, HiPos are backstabbing each other these days and I love it. As the management committee shrinks the size of the company there are fewer and fewer people to manage so the company needs fewer and fewer HiPos. They have to ki-l each other these days to get more people to manage or they are showed the door. Here in Annandale we've lost a lot of HiPos to other companies. They've even left for lower salaries. They knew that the end was near for them. I am having so much fun. Love seen them fighting like high school girls. Just love it.

Good #satire , #sarcasm

Great story. I'm a Hippopotamus as well

I think I may be a Lo-Po. I’ve been in same role for 7 years and am seen as the expert in my group and SME. I get to help fix all the problems, and my boss says I’m good and occasionally need a little improvement. My raises have been a little below inflation most of the time, but that is because I’ve been overpaid and am above my pay curve, according to my manager. I love this place and couldn’t imagine working anywhere that has disposable cups.

This site is full of so much cr-p.....thanks for the laugh and the ridiculous responses.....

🤡 of the highest degree

I'm a Hi-POS and you can ki$$ my goat smelling a$$ if you are not high and a POS like me

...it's a self fulfilling prophecy:

I rank hig because I have high potential.
I have high potential because I rank high.

My sponsor looks good if I rank high.
I rank high if my sponsor looks good.

Haahhaa. OP is a comedian

That’s what she said

Can you say out of touch?

This is obviously satire, but even real-life HiPos should be aware that their status is nothing like it used to be. Before, a HiPo would not have great chances of making it to some top position but they were at least guaranteed a cozy, well paying life long job as team lead, supervisor or lower management, with more than comfortable retirement. Today the deal is off; as the pie shrinks, cannibalism is the new rule. Most HiPos will have to not only fight for scraps but might be pushed out altogether.

Accurate description.

Maybe 1 or 2 rotational assignments before S&P. Then you learned everything that is needed to awe us with your strategic insights.

It is better to look good than to be good.

Are you Patrick Bateman?

Thread regarding ExxonMobil Corp. layoffs

I'm a Hi-Po

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