Scientists have published a groundbreaking report where they studied the smoothest brain on the planet, belonging to AT&T CTO Jeremy Legg.
“It’s insane, we’ve never seen zero synaptic activity in a human ever”, one scientist said, “we’re honestly not even sure how he’s alive.”
“We’ve long thought humans evolved from apes, but we thought it was a one way street you know, we never thought humans could DEVOLVE from apes, until we met Jeremy.”
According to the report, Mr. Legg has less neural activity than Kanzi, the world’s smartest ape. The discovery of Mr. Legg has led to the funding of more ground breaking studies, “this opens up the opportunity to study how the Neanderthals actually communicated and thought”.
In response to the report, Jeremy Legg gave a statement to our newsroom intern, “AI is se-y, Azure is se-y, data centers are not se-y. This reporter is REALLY se-y.”