Fresh off the all-hands meeting, where leadership proudly told us everything is “record-breaking, absolutely historic, folks”, the company rolled out a restructuring plan so wild it should come with a safety label.
They’re desperately trying to fix what even duct tape, prayer, and three consultants named Kramshi, Vamshi and Bamshi couldn’t fix. And then, of course, the master stroke: shifting jobs to India because someone read a PowerPoint that said “globalization = savings” in big sparkly letters. Brilliant! Truly next-level thinking. Never mind that they understand the local culture about as well as they understand their own product roadmap. They probably think the caste system is just an optional settings menu you can turn off. Brilliant!
I’m sure nothing says “operational excellence” like replacing entire teams overnight and hoping the universe sorts it out. Really incredible work, if the goal is chaos, confusion, and a corporate bingo card full of terrible ideas.
Tremendous work! S'more Popcorn Please!