IBM Earnings Call - Drinking Game - post regarding IBM layoffs

IBM Earnings Call - Drinking Game

Well it's that time of the Quarter again. Have your favorite booze-of-choice handy for Wednesday's Earnings Call, and have ONE shot (or swig) IMMEDIATELY upon hearing any of the following words / phrases:

+ "Currency headwind"
+ "Stranded costs"
+ "Charge against earnings"
+ "Realignment"
+ "Non-GAAP"
+ "Covid related"
+ "Mainframe cycle" (or "Z series cycle")

And have TWO shots (or swigs) immediately upon hearing a sycophantic, hand-picked Equity Analyst preface their softball question with:

+ "First of all, congrats on another great Quarter..."

What other ones am I missing?

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Also you neglected to predict "Russia" and "Ukraine." Oooo so if it just weren't for that darn Putin, they would've knocked it out of the park. Sure, let's go with that.

I forgot to add "Tough compare" ... that's a choice one too!

So several of the categories have moved in IBM’s direction thus we should see an earnings make and possibly a beat.
Currency headwinds have decreased 50% since last earnings report so less headwind
Mainframe remains sold out
IP is being farmed (see AIX being moved to India)

The above helps IBM

Stranded costs are still stranded due to IBM having way too much middle management and overhead burden
Realignment usually goes hand in hand with “charge against earnings” which usually means a spinoff which we should expect AK to address now that Kyndryl has wrapped

Finally non-GAAP is just legalized theft which IBM always exploits

Why oh why won't the IRS let me file my taxes with Non-GAAP accounting? omg it'd be so great, I'd never have to pay a dime in taxes ever again!

Don't forget:
"acquisition strategy"
"divestitures" (or even just "divest")
"monetize our IP"

Thread regarding IBM layoffs

IBM Earnings Call - Drinking Game

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