Hi Y'all, I know I am the worst thing that has ever happened to this once great firm. I know I am bringing the worst leaders the business world has to offer in and giving them GP payouts from day one instead of rewarding the long-tenured associates who have helped build this firm to what it once was before I took over the reigns. I know I personally brought in DC, the most cringeworthy leader in the history of the world. I know I am not qualified to lead a group of first graders on a school field trip. I know I have lost the trust and respect of everyone at the firm, including those closest to me even if they smile at me while I am in the room. But, please grant me grace. I only have a few more years until I age out of my position. That means I only have a few short years of attaining my vision of cashing annual checks in excess of $29 million while cutting people making $50,000 per year and deciding which utility bill to pay this month. You people do not understand how tough of a position I am in. This is about me and how you can serve me, oh and the firm, don't forget about the firm, oh and the clients, can't forget about the clients, I guess (McKinsey, am I saying that right?). Remember, this is not about you and your lives. You are just cogs in the bigger picture of allowing me and my husband to fulfill our dream of running a Fortune 500 company that has excelled for over a century into the ground and then taking a golden parachute as I leave a trash heap for those who remain. Please grant me grace. It is tough when I see someone knowing they secretly hate me. The rest of the associates at the firm have it so easy. You guys show up everyday, do a great job, treat people with respect, and have integrity. You guys are respected. You do not know what I have to deal with being not only not respected, but despised. So, please grant me grace as you sit in your unheated house because you cannot pay the power bill this month. My life is tough. You little people will never understand how tough my life is. Ok, I have to go now. I have another summit to attend while wearing an airbrushed blazer speaking to branch associates because I am afraid to address home office associates now. I have to practice pulling the wool over people's eyes who are not in the home office and may not know what is going on. Remember, "We are all One Edward Jones (well, until I lay you off and give your job to someone in India)!
11 replies (most recent on top)
@em Interesting that you are assuming people’s gender when they comment.
And this is why I come here! I needed that laugh. More please! Maybe a weekly Penny’s Page post?!
@n4 You are exactly correct. Penny has surrounded herself with people who will not offer a differing opinion. She has only surrounded herself with people who will agree with her and cash general partner checks and with the consulting firms. The general partners who would have offered differing opinions have "retired" (been forced out). Penny is a very weak leader. She does not want to be challenged.
True, Penny may be a hypocrite, less than authentic and a victim of management by the latest article she’s read (or consultant she’s talked to…).
But the larger flaw of her leadership is tolerating toxic leaders in senior team that have no business leading in any firm, let alone one that prides itself on a progressive culture. KJ, Ken C and Lisa D, all perfect examples of this.
The real test of a leader is the talent they choose to surround themselves with, and if you add the names above to others like DC, Suzan M and HM, the picture becomes clear - Penny is a disastrous failure as a CEO and the firm will never recover.
It’s also why there is no qualified successor to her role.
All CEOs have character flaws, but that can be mitigated by a good lens on talent. Unfortunately Penny’s are amplified by the lackluster leaders she has surrounded herself with. And everyone in the firm sees this as clear as day…except her, apparently…
Worst. Leader. Ever.
Model leadership everyday.
This is totally something Penny would write. Trust me, she is very full of herself. Huge power trip when she was named managing partner.
You ladies have way to much time on your hands
I think this is the copy Penny wrote herself. ChatGPT writes the ones we see in official releases.
I love the last line!
This is great! I love satire. However, I am close to believing this may be closer to being true than satire.