What type did your dept remove?
The super freak (aka human wallpaper) whose sole aim is to hang around to boost their superannuation (401k), devoid of any other goals or talents.
The poodle faker, a favourite of the non technical teams; dresses well and knows all the buzz words but struggles to get into the building unassisted.
The pretender, an English breed that uses its accent to convey an aura of efficiency and empathy all the while masking its true desire: money. Will take any job so long as allowances are involved; people are irrelevant but that will never show.
The high hi! Overly exciteable and always happy to greet another day yet, curiously, is loathed by all that report to him or her.
The mute, horrified by the thought of human contact and afraid of its own shadow, the mute prefers the solitude of its office; naturally this type is often found in leadership roles.
The invisible man (woman), like their achievements, seldom seen and impossible to get hold of, this type loves a meeting, especially if it's for one.
6 replies (most recent on top)
Incompetence promotes incompetence within Chevron to protect incompetence. Big club.
@cj Should be fun, when Pakistan and India go to war.
The one time when you actually need a Kristy Noem to take out the dogs.
What about the enshittifier? Taking cues from the c-suite, these employees represent Chevron's true nature.
Carrying a more-for-me-less-for-anyone-else mindset into all avenues of their work, they are our only visionaries. You can find them wherever there is work to avoid, wherever some key information is held back or miscommunication, wherever enterprise resources are ripe for wasting.
These are our lifeblood. These are the torchbearers of Chevron's legacy, on into the future...
@a6+1k2x8bcmc
Same in my team, the Pets are still here and the workers have been culled from the herd. Amazing the decisions that are being made. The theory seems to be, hire new people from India and they will solve all the current and future problems and it will be cheaper too!
They got rid of the guy who had thirty years of field experience across five different geographical areas. The guy who knew where the bodies were buried and who's code is still running critical safety and control systems and served as our team's technical safety lead. Others may have lost pretend poodle petters, but we lost our road guide who got left standing. Way to go management, you people are lost and now we are too.